Saturday, April 21, 2007

Hey Pinster! Don’t trust chicks!

Daniel Craig as James Bond? Yes. Brilliant action scenes, especially at the airport and when the SWEET car gets rolled about 15 times. Love scenes? Ick. No. Good morning Danielle Steele. Don’t think so.

Moral to the story: Don’t trust chicks.

Daniel M. won’t call himself a “bachelor” because it sounds pretentious. We were trying out minster…as in a mashing of “male spinster,” but it means “a monastery church,” so I’ve suggested “pinster.” Spinster without an S. The jury is still out. (update: pinster is approved!) He has chosen to be a pinster. I haven’t chosen to be a spinster…but, c’est la vie! And as long as we live near enough to laugh together that’s fine with me.

But I have to say this:

Don’t trust chicks. There are very few I actually call “friend.” Why? Because the meanest and most hurtful things that have been said and/or done to me in my life have been by other women. Sure, men come around, tell me I’m fat and break my heart, but they don’t do it to gain ground themselves! Or to make themselves look better in front of someone else. Or to just be mean. Women are vicious and vile and I suggest every one of you keep an eye out.

I’ve told Kylie my most recent “adventure,” but I’m not going to tell it here. I’m trying to remain “objective.” Let’s just say if I had a closet I’d go inside it and cry, but as I don’t have one, I’ll have to wash my dishes and laugh. I’d tell you the stories of the mean things that women have said/done to me throughout my life…up to and including the present. And I’ll break into tears and never leave my house again. But instead I’m going to take a moment to list the great women in my life:

Kylie, Sally B., Sally E-H, Ginger, Michelle, Serena, Jana, Erin, Christina, Jade, Tennille, Katie, Krysta, Yukako, and Amy

Okay, other than them, me and my mom…and maybe your mom. Don’t trust chicks!


BigBird said...

"We're just a couple of guys squeezing the poo out of chicks"...that probably has nothing to do with what you are talking about, but I know it will put a smile on your face.
This chick loves you and thinks you're great!

sally said...

The cool thing is, you can wash your dishes in glowing blue water while you're laughing.

I'm sorry you've been given more heartache this week, whatever the source. I don't understand why people have to be horrible to other people on principle. What's the point? It takes way too much energy.

p.s. I have a gift for you.

LostSoul said...

So true. Sad, but true. I'm crying....I think I'm on your list and it makes me happy. It makes me very sad that people have been mean to you, I know how that feels. I LOVE YOUR INSIDES as well as your outsides.