Those Who Did Not Know Her...

$1.99 for a wooden gorilla on a string. That's what I paid at Good Will here in Moscow. He cracked me up. I couldn't leave him behind.

He's even managed to find himself written into one of my plays. On Tuesday I brought him to class with me. Because I wanted to show him to David who is directing the play. I pulled the gorilla down the hall for a bit. Mostly freaked out Audrey, which is fun to do.

When class was over, David challenged me to drag him across campus. So, I did it. It was fun. As I exited the Shoup (Theater Department) I was greeted by a girl with bright blue hair. She asked me what the gorilla was for and I said, "I can't have dogs in my apartment." I continued on.

Occasionally the gorilla would tip over because of pavement cracks and I'd set him upright. Eventually a couple of people even righted him for me.

As more and more people crossed my path I noticed a trend...either they'd smile ( a guy even said, "Right on!" to me! ) or they'd pretend as if they didn't even see me in the first place. There was a guy in a truck who did a fabulous double take! It was a RIOT!

Another guy started talking to me, asking if it was for a class or something. Then I saw Heather and Sally. Both of them smiled and continued on as if, "Oh, there's Maaike and her gorilla" and it was an everyday sort of thing. It cracked me up.

I was telling Sally's class about it today and MaKaela said that one of her friends saw me and didn't know whether or not she should laugh. She was concerned that I might be "slow".

All I can say at this juncture is a quote from STNG: Those who knew [her] loved [her]. Those who did not know [her] loved [her] from afar.

Apparently I Love to Cheer

Kylie is a hoot. You know that? I'm so damn lucky to have her as my friend! Today after my "imagination" class I was zipping up my backpack and realized that there was a zipper pull on a zipper that had previously been naked. I looked at it. It read: I (heart) 2 Cheer. HA! I knew immediately that it was from Kylie. (She used to be a cheerleader and I LOVE to tease her about it. In fact, once we were talking about it and I told her that I prefer to imagine her--instead of being a cheerleader--as spending those years in juvie.)

Kylie, just in case i haven't said it lately: I Love You!

Now, this is totally unrelated in subject...but it was the class I was in when I noticed the zipper pull and it's an important story.

My meditation studio (the one inside my head)...you get to it by opening a door, walking through a maze of shrubs--English garden type maze--and into an open space with a swingset, a bathtub on springs, a shed and a cabinet. It's cool, but never cold. It's fall there--since fall is my favorite season. I was wearing a wool cap, gloves, scarf and sweater, a tweed skirt with red tights and some red wellies. I wish I had red wellies. Maybe I'll buy me some. Anyway, our first task was to find our tool. I got my fanbrush out from under the bathtub where I'd hidden it and discovered through the use of it that I could paint fall. It was BEAUTIFUL. I could paint the leaves, and the branches. I could paint me and I could make little snowflakes fall. I even painted the clouds.

Next we had to find a different tool. I found a butterfly net, but I knew something was wrong with it. It was too powerful. I tapped it on the ground and out came this power that changed the sky. It was AMAZING how the sky looked and I stood in awe staring at it for the longest time. The instructions were to use this new tool for more and more intense purposes. Instead I stared at it, frozen by its power and my "unworthiness" to use it.

Suddenly I realized I was not alone in my studio. There was a man watching me. I don't know how he got in...no one is supposed to get into my studio unless I invite them. He was in total shadow so he appeared only as a silhouette. This little dog ran up to me and I decided to ignore the man. But he stood there, watching me. Finally the power of the tool I had frightened me too much and I had to break it over my knee. It shattered into dust and was completely gone.

The next step was that we were to find a third tool, one that would come to us in a surprising way. I found a little rubber snake under a pile of fall leaves. It didn't feel like my tool, but I picked it up and wondered what it was for. How was I supposed to use this? Then the little dog took it from me and ran to where the man was standing.

"You're just pretending." He said to me. "This is not you."

"This is me." I insisted.

"You're not happy." He said.

"Yes, I am."

"No. There's something you want," he said. "You want Love."

"I know!" I shouted and then realized that the tool I was searching for was my own voice. My voice allowing me to say the things that I hide deep inside under my "I have to do this all by myself" ness.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I am Love." He said.

"Then LOVE!" the sound came out of me, from my toes, from my deepest spaces! I screamed! It was a primal scream that lasted from my first breath until my last. I screamed and screamed and screamed! The dog barked and the man...when I opened my eyes...was gone.

I don't know what this means about me. If you have any insight, whatever you think, I'd like to hear it. I don't know what this means. I'm terribly curious.

Sally and Jamie's class is amazing. I hope all of you get the chance to take it. The things I'm learning about me...even though they don't always make sense...are incredible.

Envelopes from the Royal Court of Lady 8891…

I wasn’t going to write about receiving a second envelope from someone…but I just have to. Kylie and Sally have both filled a second envelope and sent it on to me. I love these women! They so totally kick ass!

Also, my friend David A., a loyal blog reader, has asked where HIS envelope is. So, I’m sending out one to him. That will bring the total to 18 envelopes. That means as far as returns go I’m not even at the 50% mark. BUT as far as the contents of the envelopes go…I’m QUEEN OF THE POST OFFICE! Or, as one of the postal workers calls me, “Lady 8891.”

I must admit, saving little things here and there, thinking of putting them into an envelope, and sending them to one of my friends fills me with a childlike glee.

Glee. Yes. Glee. I’m as giddy as me!

Sally! Where Did You Get Jesus Tape?

On a recent whim I started reading different craft books and one of the books is 52 Projects: Random Acts of Everyday Creativity by Jeffrey Yamaguchi. It’s simply a book of suggestions…not so much patterns and recipes. Anyway, number 29 was to fill a regular sized envelope so full of different things (I like “random crap”) that you have to use tape to close it. I thought that was a pretty spiffy idea. So, I did it. I sent out sixteen envelopes with a self addressed envelope so they could do the same.

But this is the best part:

Today I got my first envelope back! It was from Sally. I just have to say before I even opened the envelope that the tape Sally used to close it featured different pictures of Jesus. Sally, oh dear Sally, where did you get the Jesus tape? I think I must have some! When I rode my bike home it felt like Christmas. I read my other boring mail first, saving the best for last, and when I opened the tape things just spilled out of the envelope! It’s beautiful! It was seriously the best thing ever! Sally knows the inner me so very well…she sent me a magnet that has a girl with curly hair sitting with a dog and the caption reads, “Life is tough. I recommend getting a manicure and a really cute helmet.” That is SO ME!

While I’m waiting for the other fifteen envelopes to come back to me (I’ll keep you posted as to the return ratio!) I’m going to fill the self-addressed envelope Sally sent to me. But first I’ve got to Google Jesus tape.

My Imaginary Friends

I often get accused of having "imaginary friends." I find it amusing how often others doubt the veracity of the existence of my friends. Well, here is a photo. In this photo, back row L to R: TJ, Tennille, Missy, Andrew, and Patrick. Front row L to R: Daniel, Will, and Sally.

This is me and Daniel together. We're cute.













This photo is Jeff, Me, Matt, and David in my bed at mom's house. We hung out for a summer and it was FUN.

Hey Pinster! Don’t trust chicks!

Daniel Craig as James Bond? Yes. Brilliant action scenes, especially at the airport and when the SWEET car gets rolled about 15 times. Love scenes? Ick. No. Good morning Danielle Steele. Don’t think so.

Moral to the story: Don’t trust chicks.

Daniel M. won’t call himself a “bachelor” because it sounds pretentious. We were trying out minster…as in a mashing of “male spinster,” but it means “a monastery church,” so I’ve suggested “pinster.” Spinster without an S. The jury is still out. (update: pinster is approved!) He has chosen to be a pinster. I haven’t chosen to be a spinster…but, c’est la vie! And as long as we live near enough to laugh together that’s fine with me.

But I have to say this:

Don’t trust chicks. There are very few I actually call “friend.” Why? Because the meanest and most hurtful things that have been said and/or done to me in my life have been by other women. Sure, men come around, tell me I’m fat and break my heart, but they don’t do it to gain ground themselves! Or to make themselves look better in front of someone else. Or to just be mean. Women are vicious and vile and I suggest every one of you keep an eye out.

I’ve told Kylie my most recent “adventure,” but I’m not going to tell it here. I’m trying to remain “objective.” Let’s just say if I had a closet I’d go inside it and cry, but as I don’t have one, I’ll have to wash my dishes and laugh. I’d tell you the stories of the mean things that women have said/done to me throughout my life…up to and including the present. And I’ll break into tears and never leave my house again. But instead I’m going to take a moment to list the great women in my life:

Kylie, Sally B., Sally E-H, Ginger, Michelle, Serena, Jana, Erin, Christina, Jade, Tennille, Katie, Krysta, Yukako, and Amy

Okay, other than them, me and my mom…and maybe your mom. Don’t trust chicks!

Boundaries...WTF?

So, here’s the story. A group of relatively shy guys, some not so shy ones, and some girls. In a small room. Posing for a photo. Someone says, “this looks posed.” To which I say, “Then do something…pretend you’re from the theatre department.” Not missing a beat, Sally points a finger and aims it at Will’s nose. Will slowly backs away while sporting a rather amusing “WTF” look on his face. HA! I had to laugh. “Sorry, Will,” I say, “Sally really is from the theatre department.”

My personality has been described as “big.”

I have no problem with that.

Others around, however, should know that in the theatre department we learn by breaking down personal boundaries…and invading those around us.

The COOLEST Christmas present ever!

Okay, so I got the COOLEST Christmas present ever. Sally and David Eames-Harlan gave me a faucet light! You put it on your faucet and when you turn it on a blue light comes on and lights up the water! ISN’T THAT AWESOME!

My apartment is VERY old…can someone tell me how to get calcium build up off of my faucet so I can turn on my faucet light?