A Short History of Nearly Nothing

Why can't all of our decisions be between good and evil? It would be so much easier to choose. Should I tell the truth and let world peace reign or should I lie and watch the fires burn? See, easy.

Mostly our decisions are things like: Should I go to the concert with Dan or should I stay home and work on crafts. That's not an earth-shattering decision but it was one that took me ALL DAY to decide.

"Why?" you ask. Because of so many things 1) Dan is leaving and I want to spent as much time with him as I can BUT 2) I don't like live concerts because it makes my brain scream (because of my ear problems) BUT 3) I've ditched him so many times that I hate to ditch him again, BUT 4) I'm not really interested in the band. BUT 5) Soon I won't be invited by Dan to anything because we'll be in different states, BUT 6) I've had a hella long week.

It goes on.

Finally I decided to stay home, so I called Dan and told him. Then I spent the next hour wondering if I made a good decision and if I should change my mind and meet him at the concert.

This is a daily occurrence with me. I feel like those little kids who don't want to go to bed because they're afraid they're going to miss something but the adults just do boring stuff. Decisions are hard for me. Just ask Dan about when he asked me to go camping.

Flying to Montreal

The last several entries have had a theme--they are song titles and/or lyrics that I found particularly inspiring. This entry, however, is about a dream I had last night. It just goes to prove that no matter how creative I like to think my conscious mind is, my subconscious is far far more interesting.

I was on a tour of a very boring building. We were throwing CD's into the swimming pool and then trying to hit them with other CD's. The tour moved on and I found my friend Dan DJing a show in a kiosk. He came out of the booth and we sat on the floor. Neither of us were wearing shoes. As we sat next to each other, we discovered that if Dan put his foot on mine, we'd move around and around the kiosk like a record. No effort on our part, we just slid across the floor. After a while we both laid down on our stomachs on the floor, still touching feet and we started to fly.

We flew around the city for a bit, getting used to navagating. We discovered that if we put an arm around the other we could go faster and fly smoother. So, we flew to Montreal. It didn't take us long to get there. The first thing we did was scare the crap out of a French-Canadian begging for money on the street. (We may have scared him sober for the rest of his life.) We flew around and discovered big pink fluffy clouds. Then, we decided we'd better head home.

On the way out of Montreal we had to stop at a tourist thing and they wanted us to take a bus home. They made us enter this building and Dan was mad because he knew it would take a lot longer to go home in the bus than if we just flew back. Anyway, while waiting I found the best hat with a monkey on it (and the hat came with a pair of goggles!!) so I was buying it and the guy gave me a hot dog. Well, I didn't want the hot dog and Dan's a vegetarian so I held an auction to sell it. It went for $100,002.00 Now, that's a hot dog!

Finally I got my hat, Dan tricked this guy in to opening a window and we flew away. Dan and I had so much fun flying and talking. We saw the world from a different perspective, we laughed, we talked, and we thouroughly enjoyed each other's company.

We could only fly because we held on to each other.

Dan, you're a great friend. I love you very much. Thanks for helping me to fly.

My Two Daniels

(Daniel: Green Lantern)
(Daniel: Batman)

The first week of January was terrible. Every one of my plans fell apart, my body ached because of illness and heartbreak, my mind whirled over lost hopes and my spirit longed for quiet solitude. I was lost.

Slowly, ever so slowly, life started to come into focus so I could handle it again without total collapse.

Then finally this week I feel it has turned around and things are starting to look up again. For example, I bought a lottery ticket on Monday and then, that evening as I read my homework from a used book I bought on line, I was showered with four-leaf clovers. They rained down on me and filled me with joy...and hope that it means I'll win the lottery with my one ticket.

Then, to add to my joy I had dreams of both of my two best guy friends in the whole world--they are both called Daniel.

My first Daniel is a Vegetarian, Gemini, Tall, Dark, and Handsome and lives in England. (To avoid confusion for the rest of this story I’ll call him “Batman.” (Not because he’s a crime fighter, but because he has such strong toes he can actually hang upside down from them like a bat.))

My next Daniel is a Vegetarian, Gemini, Tall, Dark, and Handsome and lives here in Moscow—until he moves on to Grad school. (For the rest of this story I’ll call him “Green Lantern” not because he’s environmentally green--which he really is--but because he is actually a superhero.)

In the first dream, the Green Lantern had cloned himself and his clone was a vampire. The vampire version of him was in love with me so his first act was to turn me into a vampire. We then began terrorizing this little town we lived in. We drove a little yellow car that was in serious need of repair, but we were the happiest vampire couple ever to terrorize a tiny town.

In the second dream, Batman decided we needed to go shopping. As a challenge to make it more exciting, he picked out my outfit. Not quite what I would have chosen, but I wore it for the game. However, Batman neglected to allow me any shoes. I pointed this out and he said socks were good enough. Then we went shopping. Batman would only speak in French to old people and in Spanish to young people. But he spoke to me in English.

When I woke up I had received emails from the real versions of both of them. I love these two friends of mine so very much.

The other day I was thinking that--other than my two Daniels--I’m very glad I’m not married to any of the men I’d had crushes on…none of them were really good enough for me. When I look back, I’d still happily choose either Batman or the Green Lantern. Mostly because I know I could live my whole life with either of them and always find them fascinating and never get bored by either. (Choose your best friend and you’ll find the best match!) Further truth is that while both of them love me, neither of them is “in” love with me. In my mind that just means—as impossible as it sounds to me—that there is a guy out there who is better for me than both of them.

I guess I just need to look for a new Vegetarian, Gemini, Tall, Dark, and Handsome Daniel. I wonder what kind of superhero he’ll be?

Sixth Minky's Guide to Zombies

Hello Everyone!

Here is my newest zine. It's kind of small and very silly, so it's just a trade or a stamp or a letter or just ask me and I'll give you one.

Sixth Minky
PO BOX 8891
Moscow, ID 83843

Dan's also got a new Juniper out with some great advice about slowing down. Follow the link to his blog and it'll give you the ordering instructions.

My next project is a movie-themed zine that will feature a special section by Plastic Bucket! I'm quite excited about that. Enjoy your day, and watch your back!

I Want To Live in This Bird House

Last Sunday I was over at Mouse's house watching "America's Funniest Videos". I find such evil glee in watching other people fall down. Schadenfreude at its best in me. Anyway, the show got over and I packed up to leave. Mouse said, "Don't you want to watch Extreme Home Makeover?"

"Yes, but don't you have a show you usually watch?"

"The season has ended."

"Well, this is a two hour special."

"That's okay. I've just got some stuff to work on."

So I stayed. I sat on his floor cutting out patterns of soft toys I'm going to be sewing and he sat at his table typing away on his computer. Every now and then we'd say something to each other but mostly those two hours went by in relative silence.

How peaceful it was. How comforting to know that I can stay there with him and just be there. That he was okay with my presence and I with his. I've always thought that he and I could easily share a living space but I think that level of comfort just proved it to me. However, since I plan on living in a one-bedroom birdhouse when I grow up, I don't think there's enough room for his CD's and boxes of zines...there's only enough room for mine.

Life Is Just One Big Fish Slapping Dance

(click the title and it will take you to the Fish Slapping Dance)

I'm a nice person. I get that. I understand that. Am I inherently nice or do I force myself to be that way. I'm a Scorpio...you can imagine the inner conflict.

People assume I'm nice. That's what bothers me. Sure, I do stuff to help people--but I'm just like the rest of you, I only help people if they're people I want to help. Kylie or Daniel calls me with something, I'll be there in a flash. Some random person: I probably won't even answer the phone.

The problem is that no one will let me NOT be nice. "Oh, this girl has depression problems, Maaike understands, let's put them together in a group." "No one gets along with this guy because he's a butt-head, but Maaike's nice so let's put her with him." "She's really hard to get along with, but Maaike's so easy-going we'll just have them share an office." If these people had ASKED me first if I wanted to be put in these situations I'd have said NO! But when they just put me there, I rarely stand up for myself. Something has to push me to the edge. It's hardly fair.

I've been me for a very long time now. I've spent a lot of time "rescuing" the strays of society. Not because I felt obligated to do so, but because that's where I'm most comfortable. I'm weird. I'm naive. I'm damaged. That's where I live. I help people others don't even see.

My question is: When is someone going to RESCUE ME?!

That's why I feel like Life is just a big Fish Slapping Dance. I feel like I am constantly getting thrown into the filthy water where I find someone, pull them out, bring them up to the dry ground, where they thank me and then leave me to my Fate. And I get slapped again. Back into the water and the whole thing starts over again.

I'm tired of being Strong. I'm tired of putting on a brave face. I'm tired of HELPING! I want to be HELPED! When will someone recognize that all of this takes a LOT of work on my part! My soul cries out with all its hurt and longing and desires and all that it gets is people who need me to be strong!

Maybe that's why I identify to quickly with Elanor in "Sense and Sensibility" when Marianne says, "Always acceptance and resignation...where is your heart?" and Elanor finally lets loose with the pain inside of her. Of course I have to keep it all in: first of all because I feel that there are too many people who NEED me to be the strong one and secondly in my whole life I have discovered that NO ONE will come to my rescue. NO ONE.

Okay. I'm going to sleep now. I just needed to rant a bit. Maybe instead I'll watch another movie where things blow up. I'm in the mood for a good explosion.

I Guess It Helps To Look Pretty

The Juniper #9 is out! Daniel's zine about the importance of guerrilla gardening is a rant worth reading!

He says, "I believe in small, independent, sustainable, local, organic farming because it makes more sense to me. But also because it is one big step in a series of large steps that I feel we need to take in order to free ourselves from our power-hungry addictions & habitual over-consumption."

And he's a guy who lives what he says...works for an organic farm, has his own small garden and lives a simple life. If you're tired of listening to people who have "good ideas" but don't live the life, then give The Juniper a try and find hope in those that practice what they preach. The cost is one stamp! To order:

Dan Murphy
PO BOX 3154
Moscow, ID 83843
USA

Quick! Think of a Lie!... Do You Want Bagels for Breakfast?

Today was my birthday. It was AWESOME! Mom sang Happy Birthday to me, so did Kylie and Ted...and my sister. And others, too. I woke up to birthday greetings in my email box from David A., Jolene, Eric, and Aleksander. Later on I received email greetings from Serena, Al, Ryan, Jana, and Daniel M. I got a card from Brian and Michelle. Phone calls from Christina, Erin, and Chris. While working at the WomensWorks Art booth Ginger, Missy and Sally all wished me a happy birthday, followed also by Emily and Cindy! (Sally also wished me Happy Birthday every time she ran into me that day!)

Kylie sat with me at the booth for the beginning of the day. (She gave me a handmade bag with monkeys on it...and a Pirate Monkey!) Daniel M. sat with me at the end of the day. (He gave me a Sock Monkey comic and a Woodsy Owl t-shirt!) Emily and Cindy came to take over the booth for me so that Kylie, Teddy , Daniel and I could go out to Chinese food--where we all got lame fortune cookies.

We went back to my house and had some cake that Kylie made and I tried to think of a wish. But every time I try to think of a wish only two things go through my head, "I wish for love" and Dr. Suess's "I wish a fish." Instead I said, "May Fate be kind because she's going to do whatever she wants anyway."

Just after we'd finished our cake, Amanda, Kimberly and Ryan stopped by with cookies! OLE!

I also had about 13 birthday wishes on Facebook to reply to. So, all in all, I'd say it was a highly successful birthday!

Thank you everyone (especially Kylie and Daniel) for making this a GREAT day for me! I love you all!!

Envelope Ten--they haven't forgotten!

Envelope number 10 has found it's way to my grubby little hands!

Monika M. from Spain has sent me an envelope. Well, that's just too simple for Monika. Instead she came all the way from Spain to hand deliver her envelope to me here in Moscow, ID! Now, THAT'S a friend!

Okay, so maybe she was actually at a conference in Seattle and then made a little side trip to Moscow and just happened to bring the envelope and hand it to me. But still, it's an amazing story.

That brings me up to a 56%. It's not even a D yet.

I'm happy with the return. Although, I did have to have Daniel translate some of the Spanish for me. Vivan los pingüinos de queso! (or something like that).

Hi My Name Is

The very first play I ever had produced was in the 5th grade. It was called "The Monster at the Bus Stop" and featured me, Jeanette K., and Kurt C. I remember making my fifth grade class laugh, especially this kid named Reed. Anyway, I was hooked at that moment and knew that what I really wanted, was to make people laugh.

This is the cast that totally ROCKED my latest play called "Hi, My Name Is." (In the Photo back row: Matthew G. (Officer's Minion/Assistant Director), Me! (Gorilla Girl/Playwright), Ariana Z. (Afraid to Love), Jared H. (Selfish), Kate B. (Gave Up Hope), Kaleb J. (Pushes Others Away), Daniel M. (The Guy With The Pen). Front Row: Milo D. (most awesome musician!), Rose K, (Hannah) and John B. (Taz). Not pictured: David E-H (The Officer/Director)). I got the idea when I was listening to Milo Duke play some music at a local cafe. I thought, what if there was a play that had no words, just music and movements. I started working on it and eventually the characters started talking to each other.

When my professor asked me about the "worlds" that I create in my plays I told him, "All my bad guys are Republicans." It's a very simple summation, but it's the truth. In "Hi..." the world has been taken over by capitalism and people are no longer referred to by name. They are born, live, work, and die all in the same building, mingling only with the other occupants of that building. In a world of similar buildings. There is no fashion, there is no art, there is only work...and this one day in which Taz can ask Hannah about a possible "data merger" in hopes of forming a closer relationship.

The world is interrupted when a guitar player shows up in the middle of the lunch time meal. A girl with a wooden gorilla follows. Despite the fact that they leave the stage, the impact has already been made. Hannah wants to have her name back and reject her "worker's area designation" much to the chagrin of Taz who is desperately trying to ask her if she'd consider merging data with him.

Big Brother watches and waits for the slightest infractions...but once an impact has been made on someone, can it ever be erased?

Thank you everyone who was in the show. And a special thanks to EVERYONE who came to see it! Thanks for supporting art! Thanks for supporting me! I love you all very much!

I Don't Want To Be A Superhero

Superheroes—no matter who they are—start out by not wanting their powers. It’s an enormous responsibility and if you think about it, it would be so much easier to stay home and watch Jeopardy! than to go out and save the world. When you have a Superhero who risks his or her life to save another, eventually society will demand more. “Why did you save so-and-so and not my brother?” “Where were you when the busload of nuns got hijacked?” “What do you mean you can’t be everywhere at once.” It would seem easier to deny your powers and just stay home.

Science Fiction author, David Brin said, “It is said that power corrupts, but actually it's more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power.” From this quote at least learn that I am sane. I don’t want power. I’ve never wanted it. In fact, I’ve always wanted to be quiet. Quiet? I know it confuses you. I’ve always wanted the loving husband, the kids who’d bring their friends over. The little house with the yard that everyone would hang out at. And I’d be quietly contented. I’d have a simple life with a love that I’d be certain of.

Despite the fact that I have never wanted nor sought power I still possess it. It seems that there is more to me than I would like to acknowledge. Power that keeps getting pointed out to me: "You are a great teacher." "You bring such happiness to those you contact." "You help others feel valued." I don't want power.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.” –Marianne Williamson

Daniel M. said that people like me. I told him that I don’t know why. I told him that I didn’t believe him. I told him that no one really likes me, they just want something from me and once they get it they’ll go away, like everyone else does.

That’s not true. I push them away because I don’t want to acknowledge that I mean anything to anyone.

Daniel R. said, “Men are intimidated by beautiful women, and that is why you don’t get asked out on dates. You are beautiful and men are dumb.” I told him that I don’t get asked out on dates because I’m too tall. I told him it’s because I’m weird and too forward. I told him that God’s punishing me for some unknown thing I did or said.

That’s not true. I don’t date because men can see the power I have within me and either know that I have a greater destiny that to be someone’s arm candy or they are, as Daniel said, intimidated by that power.

I tell everyone “It doesn’t matter if I’m here or not. No one would notice if I’m gone.”

That’s not true, either. I happen to know that I have touched people’s lives. I’m not saying that as self-aggrandizement. If you know me, you know that I’m much better at self-deprecation.

I don’t want these powers. I don’t want to make a difference in someone’s life. I want to have my little house with my husband and my cookie sheets and my birdbath. I want to make beds in the mornings and do laundry on Saturdays. I want to get my family dressed up for a photo and decorate my Christmas tree with a skeleton on top instead of an angel. I want to live in the background and just make a difference to him and the kids. That’s what I want.

Why are Superheroes always lonely? Because they know—they KNOW—that they have to make a difference to someone other than themselves. They know they can’t save everyone but that they can save someone. They are lonely because they have to be.

Don’t trust me with these powers. I don’t want them. I don’t want to be a superhero. In fact, I’ll give away everything I have: my earthly possessions, my talents, and my superpowers, to spend my life with you, in that little house where together we own a pygmy goat. And maybe some chickens. And no one expects me to save a busload of nuns.

The Search For Mr. Right Continues

As many of you are aware, my birthday is on November 9th. Many of you do not know that I will be 28 this year. Yes. 28. This is not where I planned to be on my 28th birthday, but, this is where I am.

So, this year, what I want, is an honest to goodness boyfriend birthday. You know, a phone call early in the morning, waking me up to a silly rendition of "Happy Birthday". He's planned the day...dinner, flowers, whatever. Just a day that he says, "I know how much you love your birthday so I've planned THIS!"

But the problem is that I don't have an honest to goodness boyfriend. There are 45 days until my birthday, so I thought I'd do some recruiting. Here are the things he MUST have:

Respect for me, Kindness, Gentleness, Intelligence, a Sense of Humor, and a variety of interests and talents.

Here are things he MUST NOT have:

any form of bigotry, a MAN-MAN sense of the world (caveman mentality perhaps), a mustache, and a fear of strong women (i.e. ME). He really shouldn't be a Republican because I've had too many clashes with them. We do not think at all alike.

I don't care about body type. I really don't. He should have dark hair (blonds need not apply) and I prefer with glasses...because I love how sexy men are with glasses on.

Now, don't worry. My birthday will be celebrated nonetheless, boyfriend or no, because I have Daniel--my friend-that's-a-boy--who has agreed to do my birthday for me. And he'll have Kylie's help of course. But, as it stands, you all still have 45 days.

Idaho's Green Party in Envelope Eight!

Envelope Eight arrived today! Only thing in my box this morning so it was like god rays shining down through the clouds. You could almost hear a choir of angels singing the "glory" note. I don't know what that note is. I'm sure I could search it out on my piano...but I don't really care that much!

This envelope is from Daniel M. I LOVE how the envelopes are little glimpses into the lives of my friends! It's perfect, actually. It's a look at the things that this person thinks about. He gave me information about Idaho's Green Party, a pin for his Zine The Juniper, some other zine stuff, and some GREAT stickers!

My favorite thing, though, was this cartoon of a woman helping a man with a cowlick in his hair by leaning over and licking it down. Now THAT'S funny! (I also loved the Bobblehead page with the "hip shaker" in it!)

Thanks, Mouse! You did a GREAT job!

8 of 18...that's a 44.4 (infinity) %. A very good number for my friend Daniel, but not a high percentage as far as returns go. Still, hella fun, though. You should try it with some friends! If you don't have any...send one to me!

Hello Sheep!

On Saturday Daniel and I went to the Latah county fair. It was so much like going with my Daddy that I thought about him for a couple of days afterwards. Here's the story:

We went first through the flowers and plants. Then on to veggies and saw a gigantic squash that I'm glad isn't my responsibility. And a huge pumpkin that probably took a couple of people to move in the first place.

Then we went to see the bunnies! I love the bunnies! There was a HUGE bunny that Kylie told me to look for...at first I thought, well she must have been on crack (HA!) because I didn't see a big bunny. But Daniel did! This bunny was HUGE! I took a picture of it, but it didn't turn out because I'm not very good at taking photos. Sorry. There was this chocolate colored bunny that wanted to come home with me. I showed it to Daniel and he agreed, "His nose is really twitching! I think he does want to go home with you." But I had to leave the bunny there to go home with his actual owner.

Next we stopped in at the chickens. (When I told mom this she said, "Of course YOU had to see the chickens!" I grew up with chickens and I was always outside with them. It's amazing I didn't catch some kind of poultry disease!) I couldn't resist saying a classic Gir line from Invader Zim and leaned in to one banny hen and said, "Chicken! hehehehe! I'm gonna eat you!"

Next we went to see the sheep and pigs. There were these sheep with a sign that read, "We love to be scratched, especially under our chins. We don't like to have our horns touched." Daniel and I reached in and started scratching and this brown sheep ran up to Daniel and stuck out her chin! It was so cute! They really do like having their chins scratched. The pigs were loud and stinky.

And the cows were boring and stinky.

But not the goats! There were some pygmy goats--the kind my Daddy always wanted to get--and they were THE BEST! I love these little guys. Daniel said that he wanted to reach in and pick up the baby one...I was right there with him. It was hard to resist.

So we saw what we wanted to and I said "NO" to the $4.00 Elephant Ear even though I really love them. Because I was too cheap.

It was very much like going to the fair with my Daddy. Instead, it was my Daniel. I miss my Daddy very, very much. I told Daniel all kinds of stories about my Dad after the visit to the fair. Thanks for listening, Mouse! :D!

All that's left to say about the Latah county fair is another line by Gir: "*gasp!* It's got chicken legs!!"

They Knew What it Was Like to be Roasted in the Depths of the Sloar That Day, I Can Tell You

I was skateboarding the other day. Trying to stall on the curb. Trying to go faster than I’d ever gone before. Trying to hop onto the board. All kinds of things I had never before been brave enough to do. And, just as fate would have it, one of my kingpins broke. End of skateboarding that day. I was sad…but at the same time I thought, “Sweet! I broke my board! I’m a REAL skater now!”

Wait, there’s more.

Daniel helped me…I bought brand new trucks. They’re bright pink to match my hardware! They’re super sweet! I can't wait to try them out!

Daddy, this is Daniel.

Have you ever smelled the Earth? I’m sure you have. Smell the summer and the Earth after an evening rain. Crisp and cool. What about autumn when apples have fallen and are sweetly rotting into the ground, spreading their seeds for the next batch of trees? Let it turn colder and smell the morning after the snow has coated the trees. Cold. Clean. The way the fire smells when you throw an orange peel into its already orange flames. Now smell the Earth as spring comes. The Earth coming alive again…soil bringing life back to all it’s cared for when the snow covered it all; the seeds sprouting, the trees pushing out their leaves…every scent is new—despite the fact that you’ve smelled it every spring since you’ve been born.

Daniel, did you know you smell like spring? I wonder how long this scent will remind me of you.

Daddy, did you know that when the quaking aspen leaves shudder and applaud in the breeze they always whisper your love to me.

I wish you could meet, I think you two would have been friends. Some day you’ll meet and maybe you’ll understand the Earth a little better after getting to know the other. I know I do.

My Imaginary Friends

I often get accused of having "imaginary friends." I find it amusing how often others doubt the veracity of the existence of my friends. Well, here is a photo. In this photo, back row L to R: TJ, Tennille, Missy, Andrew, and Patrick. Front row L to R: Daniel, Will, and Sally.

This is me and Daniel together. We're cute.













This photo is Jeff, Me, Matt, and David in my bed at mom's house. We hung out for a summer and it was FUN.

Why Must I Make Such Dumb Mistakes?!

Okay, I do some dumb things. I really do…such as:

• Using Melaleuca Shampoo (it thinned out my hair)
• Moving to Kansas (Please don’t ask)
• Not giving Tarek a chance because of a crush on another boy.
• Watching “An Interview with a Vampire”
• Letting "Voldemort" charge things on my credit card.

But tonight…I did the dumbest thing ever. I flossed and brushed my teeth…THEN iced a cake! How dumb is that! I had to be very careful to get all the icing onto the cake, and the icing that ended up on my hands (I’m an artist, I’m used to getting my art all over myself) had to be wiped away. The spatula was used very carefully to get the icing onto the cake and then went into the sink. It was so sad. I debated driving it over to Daniel’s house to let him lick it off (of the spatula—Kylie, I can hear you) but I didn’t know how to hold a spatula and drive. That’s something I haven’t yet had any experience in. Why? Why must I be plagued by such dumb mistakes!

Help! I’m Lost!

Background first…

In 1995 I got a very serious sinus infection that put me in bed for a week. Subsequently I catch every sinus cold that goes around and have had three other sinus infections since then. As a result, I don’t hear as well as I should.

Going even further back…

I have four brothers and three sisters, so loading us all into the car was quite a task for my Mom. One day, when I was five, I got left behind in Tempo’s (a local drug store like Rite Aid). Mom loaded up the car with 87.5% of her children, called it good and drove away.

I remember a little old lady was holding my hand and patiently taking me up and down each aisle asking me, “Is she your mom?” and I cried, “Nooo!”

Mom realized I was missing not quite a block away when she was going down the list asking each of her children what they wanted at McDonald's. “Maaike, what do you want? … Maaike… Maaike?” She came back to Tempo’s and got me…and was so flustered that the trip to McDonald's got canceled much to the chagrin of my brothers and sisters.

Now, the story…

My friend Daniel talks quietly. And, as I mentioned before, I’m a wee bit lacking in the hearing department.

We were going to a concert on campus and I didn’t have my Vandal card. Which was fine because I can still get in. Well a girl at the door was shouting, “If you have your Vandal card go to the other entrance to get a wrist band.”

Now, I thought I heard Daniel say, “We’ll just go in here.” So, I entered, walked a few steps, turned around and Daniel had completely disappeared into thin air. I waited thinking that we had just gotten separated by a few steps. I waited. He was gone. I took a few more steps into the building and then panic struck. Where was my friend? I seriously was going to cry.

In my panic, I saw a familiar face, “Joe!” (Hilary’s boyfriend) I told him that I’d lost my friend and, truthfully, I was going to cry.

“Do you want me to hang out with you, until he comes back?”

“Yes, please.”

It wasn’t too long after that that I spotted Daniel coming from the other side.

“There he is!”

“The guy in the black hoodie?” asked Joe.

“Yes, that’s him. Thanks for hanging out with me.”

(A note here to Joe: Thanks you really were a help to me! A note to Hilary: Joe’s great, don’t let him go!)

When Daniel came up to me I got mad at him (I’ve known him for over a year and this is the first time I’ve gotten mad at him) it was panic induced anger, however, and I can’t really be blamed for not being able to hold it in.

“Where did you go?” I asked, angrily.

“I was talking to my professor.”

I don’t remember what I said because mostly I was in a five-year-old’s state of panic of being left behind in an unfamiliar place. Daniel explained that what he had said to me earlier was to the effect that I was to go in this door and he was going to go through the other door to get a wristband.

My panic slowly ebbed. The concert was great and I thoroughly enjoyed it. On the way out, though, I kept a hold of Daniel so that I wouldn’t be left behind again.

People don’t believe me when I say I’m shy. But put me in an unfamiliar place and surround me with strangers and you’ll see me start crying like a five-year-old left in Tempo’s!

Ed’s New Haircut

I’m a killer. I’ve killed before. I can’t say that I enjoy it…and the last four years have gone by without incident. But the plant that was residing happily inside of my Ed-the-Head pot is dead. I killed it. I think I over watered it. But it is dead.

Kylie gave me the plant on one of my birthdays. (I love my birthday! A week from today is my half-year birthday!) She called it my “good luck” plant because I’d need luck to keep it alive. It lived a good life. It was beautiful. And now it’s dead.

Well, since Ed-the-Head is often in charge of the apartment when I’m gone, I had to find a new plant for it. I went to the store. And wandered. Not so much an indoor plant selection as they’re making way for the gardeners and lawn-fixer-uppers. I was at a loss. I stepped out into the parking lot where fewer people could hear my stupid question. I dialed the phone and called my Mom.

“Mom, I know I’ve asked you this every summer, but does annual mean it comes up every year or that I have to plant it every year?”

With that question out of the way, and Mom giggling in my ear, I wandered into the plants. The walls were lined with choices. Some I knew. Most I did not. There was one I wanted to look at, but couldn’t go anywhere near it because there was a spider perched too near. Curse you, spider!

“Mom, there’s a spider in here.”

“It won’t hurt you.”

Silly Mom. She knows that spiders are out to get me.

“Mom what does it mean when it says ‘sun perennial’?”

“That means it needs a lot of sunshine. You want a shade one.”

Searching some more, avoiding the looks of those who despise us uninformed plant buyers and annoying cell-phone talkers…and of course the spiders and various random bugs that had taken up homes in their favorite plants. I picked up something that looked dainty and pretty.

“I found something called ‘Lamium.’ It looks like it has little purple flowers.”

“Well, since I can’t see it, it sounds good to me.”

Thanking my Mom for her patience and advice I proceeded to the cashier. I went home proudly with my new plant. Hooray! Ed-the-Head will be naked no more!

Then Daniel, (“Outstanding Junior” for his department in Horticulture) comes over, takes a look at my plant and says, “They use this mostly for ground cover.”

Well, I guess that means that Ed is destined to have a buzz cut … until I kill again!