Saturday, April 28, 2007

Maaike…if you were a girl…

I’d rather play baseball than dolls. I’d rather dig in the dirt or swim in the canals than have a “tea party.” I’d rather watch explosions, par cour, car chases, and gunfights than a bunch of women trying to “solve” what’s wrong with men. I’d much sooner laugh at MXC and poop jokes than paint my nails and think I’m above all of that.

Hi. I’m a girl. I have C cup size boobies, have pretty hands, nice lips, a fantastic booty…and, if you’re still not convinced that I’m a girl, I also have a vagina.

People have heard me say that I'd rather watch an action movie instead of a romance because "It's far more likely that aliens will come down and try to take over the earth than it is that a man would carry a woman through a puddle." Don’t get me wrong, I believe in romance. Totally and utterly. I just had to quit “believing” in it because I happen to know that in real life that crap doesn’t happen to me.

I fantasize about coming home to my apartment to find a vase full of purple and yellow irises, a beautifully written card, and the guy of my dreams standing there with open arms.

I love romance. I absolutely melt when Colonel Brandon sees Marianne for the first time. The look he has on his face when she’s playing piano…that makes me want to believe in love. When Elizabeth meets Mr. Darcy on his property and he treats her so well when in other meetings he was so awkward that she learned to despise him. When Mr. Knightly is so adamant about the fact that he and Emma are NOT brother and sister. I LOVE those things and I absolutely fall to pieces when Jane Austen talks about romance.

The other night I had a dream that I gave up 10 IQ points for true love. And the truth is, I’d do it. I’d go from getting mostly A’s to getting B’s if that meant that some guy would reach over nervously to hold my hand for the first time. Not knowing if I would accept or reject his attempt, but he’d take that chance. Mmmm. Then I’d take his hand too and he’d stop being nervous. Until the next step…to lean in for a kiss. Mmmm. I totally believe in romance. I just don’t “believe” in romance.

Does that make any sense?


sally said...

Yes. Yes it does. It sucks, though. That you feel this way.

I wish I could help. I wish I could just walk around smacking people into seeing how fabulous you are and how lucky they would be to be with you.

Anonymous said...

I can't be standing at your door with open arms to meet you, but I find myself wishing I had a way to send you a vase full of purple and yellow irises and a beautifully written card.

* *

Maaike said...

Thank you, Sally. Thank you, Anonymous. :)