Thursday, December 16, 2010

Inflitrating the Davidson Culture

To study a culture it is best to blend in. This way you can move about practically unnoticed to conduct your study. When studying the Davidson family here are some things to bring to the table:

Watch these movies:

“The Burbs” starring Tom Hanks
  • • “Yo! Rumsfield!”
  • • “About a 9 on the tension scale there, Rube.”
  • • “You’ve had that in your trousers all day?!”

“The Fifth Element” starring Bruce Willis:
  • • “She knows it’s a multipass!”
  • • “Chicken, good!”
  • • “Nice hat.” Corbin. “Ya like it!” Robber.
  • • “Itsa itsa itsa…”

Also, “The Fiddler on the Roof” the original Star Wars Trilogy, Star Trek (old, new, and movies). For the next generation of Davidson’s, you’ll also want to include “Napoleon Dynamite” and “Nacho Libre”

Watch these TV shows:

“Are You Being Served?” It’s important to know what to do when “A glass of water for Mr. Granger!” is shouted from the living room. Also of note are the frequent mentions of Mrs. Slocombe’s pussy.

“Keeping up Appearances”
  • • “Here I sit, completely surrounded by no beer!”
“All in the Family”
  • • “But Edith, we ain’t the McNabbs!”
  • • “I got some of the same blood in me as Katherine Hepburn!”
“M*A*S*H” (Oh so many from M*A*S*H—quoted more often in our household than any of the quotes that Shakespeare has made common in daily communication.)
  • • “But to cut off a man’s legs and steal his drawers!”
  • • “You tell ‘im, Ferret face!”
  • • “Hey, up close you’re a guy.” Flagg. “Far away, too.” Klinger.
  • • “I wouldn’t marry you for five dollars.”
Family Nicknames

• Sherri –Big Shorty
• Marina—Nunu, Murt
• Albert—Howie
• Jeff—
• Chris—Twid
• Maaike— Moat, Major Iceborg
• Brian—brain, Onslo
• Randy—Roy, Willard

These are just a few of the things you’ll need to know before entering the group. So far I have been most impressed by how Michelle infiltrated the group. Not always knowing the movie references she would randomly throw in some of her own. Confusing the Davidsons for a moment but they were quick to accept her as one of their own.

Please feel free to ask questions during your infiltration process. The Davidsons are quite open-minded to accepting new people and are fairly non-lethal unless provoked to stand up for one of their own.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander

Sometimes my head gets too full of stuff. Sometimes I think the only way to get it out is to scream or cry or else I'll just go crazy because I can't get the stuff out of my head.

I wait to be rescued but no one comes. No one comes because they don't know I need to be rescued or they don't believe in rescuing the "big" girl. I search for outlets for my brain crowd but no one is available because of their own crowd.

Sometimes I want to scream until someone comes and locks me up. Feeds me jell-o. Gives me crayons and tells me to draw what's frightening me.

Sometimes I want to cry to see if someone, anyone, will come wrap his arms around me and tell me that he is there for me, no matter what.

If I told you I was in pain, would you come to me? Would you have time for me? Sometimes I'd like to find out just who would come to my rescue. But most of the time I just go to sleep...everything will be better in the morning.

Saturday, September 04, 2010

Love & Mathematics

Last night I had two dreams. In the first one I was loved by a king. The king was kind and good to his people and everyone loved him and all the girls wanted to be with him, but he loved me, and was in love with me, and liked everything about me.

In my second dream I was loved by a criminal. Everyone despised him and thought he should be behind bars. But he loved me, and was in love with me, and liked everything about me.

While the King and the Criminal were wildly different in nature the love I felt from both of them was exactly the same. The king loved me. The criminal loved me. I was safe inside of both of their arms and felt their love for me and didn’t doubt it.

Granted…it may have helped that both the King and the Criminal were played by Henry Ian Cusick.

Saturday, July 03, 2010

Something to be Scared of...

Life: I want to live you.

I’ve never been very good at slant rhyme and that seems to be the secret to writing song lyrics. As I listen to songs I can hear them but when I sit here and try to make them up myself I cannot hear it and I cannot create it. I wish I could create.

Life: You scare me.

It’s like singing anyway…my voice is in the alto range but I can’t just hear it unless someone else is also singing alto and sitting near enough to me for me to follow their lead. I cannot sing unless someone shows me the way. I wish I could lead.

Life: Are you my friend?

These small things in life—hearing a note, finding a rhyme—mean nothing to so many people. Why do I worry about them? For the same reason I worry about so many other little things: No one to help with the big things.

(Scared Teddy by droool)

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Join me in welcoming the girls!!

Running on the wheel are Melora and Zoe. They are the dwarf hamsters I just got. Now, behind them you can seen one glowing eye of Queen Schmooquan as she watches them run in their wheel. When I first brought them home she watched the for an hour and a half. I'd never seen her concentrate on anything for that long. It was a riot!

Now the girls are up on a high shelf where the kitty can only watch them from afar. They wake up at night so kitty is quite entertained.

However, the wheel was very squeaky and was keeping me awake, so I fixed it with some WD40. No more squeak.

We four girls are all very happy together.

Friday, April 02, 2010

How To Disappear Completely

Eva didn’t know how it happened. Actually, she did.

“The secret to survival is to keep denying that you feel it. Deny that you would like to love him. Deny that you would like to be loved by him.” That is how Eva had survived this long.

She found that building defenses was actually easier than she thought. First of all, she found her center—this is what she wanted to guard—she put it in the center of her defenses so that it would be extraordinarily difficult to get to. Once the center was labeled, she started building from there.

She covered her heart with years of self doubt, and low self-esteem. Next she layered it with the insults and rude comments she had been subjected to over her life. Then, subsequent layers were made, in a papier mâché fashion of all the heartbreaks she’d ever experienced…real ones, imaginary ones, and all the unrequited ones that she cried for even if the tears meant nothing to the other party. She even added the ones where the person didn’t even know she existed.

Eva finally achieved what she had hoped for…she was impenetrable. She felt like a superhero. Faced with any opposition, she would rise above it.

And that’s when it happened.

After seeing him around several times, she had a dream that he loved her. And she was so happy. In the morning she thought about him, in the afternoon she told herself to give up, and in the evening she had hope again.

How was she supposed to keep him from coming in when her center was trying to push out toward him? She started to hate herself for her weakness. She tried to find help, but no one understood the lengths Eva had gone to just to build her defenses.

She knew what was coming up…the hopes, the dreams, and then the crash and tears.

Eva didn’t know how it happened. Actually, she did.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

The Ghost of an Unkissed Kiss

There he was…handsome, talented and smiling at me. I couldn’t resist. I had to flirt with him or I would regret it forever. Flashing my best smile and being totally, unabashedly myself, we began our conversation. We talked and laughed and suddenly I realized that my flirting was WORKING. Not only that, it was being RECIPROCATED and he was flirting with me, too. As the conversation went on we started walking with the crowd, and he reached over and suddenly he was holding my hand. Holy crap! Joy filled me in a way I thought was never going to happen again. It was so SO good.

Then I woke up and I thought, “Wow, a part of my brain still believes in love!”

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Are You Happy With Your Wash?

Hello Sixth Minky readers. As you know I have little tablets that I carry around and write things in. I love to write the odd things people say and I write them without the context. It makes me laugh.

Anyway, these quotes have been posted into another blog called "Are You Happy With Your Wash" and can be found at:

You should know that when I quote someone I don't edit their words. If they happily use a "colorful metaphor" I leave it there. Please proceed with caution.

Anyway, enjoy the blog, look for yourself in it, and add comments if you have other great things that someone has said that makes you giggle.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Love's Not a Competition, But I'm Winning!

The other day I told my sister that I don’t like love anymore. I really like like. But not love. Mostly because it never turns out for me. But also because of what it does to me...not good things.

Here’s what my mind thinks when I’m in love:

How much weight do I need to lose? If only I were a couple inches shorter! What if I have bad breath? It’s because of all my sinus problems. What if he thinks I'm a hypochondriac? What if he wants me to go to an event that I really hate? What if I hate his family? What if he hates my family? Maybe I should grow my hair out…maybe I should cut it. Dye it different colors. Am I asking too much of him? Does he want more of my time? Will he be upset if I ask for my own time and space? What if he isn't strong enough to help me with my depression? What if he thinks depression is something I can "snap out" of? Etc, etc.

Here’s what my mind thinks when I’m not in love:

Mmmm…I really love Dr. Pepper.

Besides all of that, I also get very jealous because I’ve never been in a relationship where I was secure in what the guy was feeling for me. He’d have to be very careful and never make me jealous on purpose. For example…I’ve been “over” my friend for a while but every time he mentions going on a date I still have a little pang of hurt run through me. I don’t like it. Neither does he.

So, it is true. I don’t like love anymore. Love never works. Like is good enough for me.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Monday, January 25, 2010

Shut Up! I Am Dreaming of Places Where Lovers Have Wings!

There are several reasons why I want to marry the man in this photo.

1. His hair is sheer madness.

How can I resist a man who doesn't give a rat's hat about his coiffure?

2. The look on his face.

Don't tell me I can't go beyond this point. I'll damn well go beyond this point if I want to!

3. Look at those lips.

I love full lips. Not like Frank Burns the lipless wonder.

4. His eyes are deep blue.

This photo they look brown...believe me...deep blue. I love looking into blue eyes. To me they are the most expressive eyes.

5. He's Misha Collins.

Yes, my current Hollywood crush. And, on Supernatural he's an he does have wings.

A different L-Y song

This isn't the one I grew up with, but it's still the right song!

The Alligator King

I loved this as a if only I could find the "l-y" song!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Clockwise Witness

So, I was thinking the other day of some random people I’d like to thank. However, I can’t thank you because I don’t know where you are. Or in some cases I don’t remember your name or even knew your name in the first place. I’m going to write about you on my blog and maybe someone, somewhere knows who you are and can pass it on. Here goes:

Larry Colson: Thank you for sitting by me on the bus. You made me feel important and that’s a great thing for a 7th grade girl!

Richard Keller: Thank you for telling me I’m pretty. I needed that in high school…heck I still need it now.

Richard my 2nd grade boyfriend: You’re the only real boyfriend I’ve ever had, which is a sad commentary on my adult life. I remember you with fondness.

The guy at the 9th grade dance: You said to me, “I thought a girl like you would be asked to dance every dance!” My brain doesn’t let me remember who you are, but your words have sustained me many, many times.

Hispanic guy at DI: One of the best compliments of my life was given in your broken English. I’ll never forget you smiling and saying to me, “Big Sister! Grande! Beautiful!”

Garrett Coffee: I’ve lost contact with you…you were a friend to me at an important time and I’ll never forget your testimony and your friendship at the MTC.

Drew the 8 year old (who would be close to 23 years old now!): You gave me a valentine. You were eight. I was twenty-five. I still have it.

Kathy Peterson: I crashed on my bike in front of your house when I was about eight. You took me into your house, cleaned out the wounds and gave me band-aids and a glass of water.

You were all in my thoughts the other day. I was thinking about how many acts of kindness are done around me and for me and to me. You are in my memories and I love you for who you are. To those who may read this, please always take the time to thank people for what they do. People come and go in our lives the best thing is to let them know how much they mean to us when they are in our lives! If you love someone, tell them. Don’t search for the right words, the right words already exist: I love you.