When I grow up these are the two pets I want. The cat is a Russian Blue. (Badelaar was this breed of cat and he was so sweet. Also, very beautiful.)
It was Monday night and I couldn't sleep. I decided to stay up and work on some stuff--and then when I did go to bed I was hitting the "goofy" side of staying up.
Television is not always the most reliable source for epiphanies, but I'll take them where ever they come. I won't reveal the show, but a therapist on it said that when we take a look at what we really need in our lives we discover who we really are. This was very intriguing. So I thought about it. I had a dream last night in which I was once again fighting the battle between good and evil. However, this time I didn’t get to the end of the fight because I was kidnapped by the evil side. He kidnapped me because he was in love with me. I didn’t mind being kidnapped because someone loved me. It was beautiful. Up to a point. Whenever I have dreams about someone being in love with me it always ends up that he disappears. Yep. Here is someone who finally falls in love with me enough to kidnap me to the evil side, but then, he disappears.
A bunch of times in dreams I’ve been sitting next to an empty chair telling everyone how much “he” loves me. I point to the empty chair and although my heart knows the chair is empty; my mind is trying so hard to convince those in my dream staring at the chair that there really is someone who would choose me from the crowd. The chair is empty. Always empty.
It’s so cruel that even my subconscious won’t even let me be loved.
Speaking of empty chairs…my friend Gregg will be leaving in December to go to a job in Reno. That means that there will be an empty chair on my left during church every Sunday. I’ll be taking applications, essays, and letters of recommendation for the next few weeks. Ben Stellmon is the current front runner, but he’ll only be sitting there part time, so that means there is still a slot. Then, when Dan leaves in May, there’ll be another slot. But I’m not talking about that right now.
Oh, and to top it all off…my dreams of NOT love, friends leaving, and all…my haircut is age appropriate and I feel old because of it. I have only two choices, wait until it grows or cut it off. Any suggestions?
Who knew my birthday could last a week? Well, I'd always hoped--but this year it has nearly reached that mark! My birthday is the 9th and this year, it started on the 7th. Game night at my apartment, then Saturday birthday cards and wishes, Sunday my official birthday Dan took me out to dinner (rest of the story a bit further down) and all kinds of greetings, Monday and Tuesday more birthday wishes, Wednesday lunch with Colt Landon (who gave me a package of Chips Ahoy because he knows I love chocolate chip cookies) using my birthday coupon for Qdoba, and dinner with Dan and John. If something birthdayish shows up tomorrow then it will be a week of birthday!
There is no way to explain how my brain screams. I'd like to explain what my brain does, but as I am the only one inside my head and I don't know what a real brain does. I only know my brain. Lately my brain has been screaming. I can't make it stop. I can't turn it off. The only way to get it to be quiet is to sleep.
My tomatoes are turning red. I've already eaten three of them and they taste so good! The best part was knowing that I grew these tomatoes myself. A seed in April. A plant in May. Some small green tomatoes in July. Eating in September. It's been an amazing process. Thanks, Mouse, for teaching me to grown things. And for giving me the courage to try.
These are some more of my zines. The "Environmental Imp Pack" are still available and are $2.00 each, or a good trade. "Punkman" is also $2.00 and is a full color comic I made based on my most awesome friend Dan Murphy.
Here are some of my zines that I've made over the last couple of years. There are 12 issues of "The Sixth Minky" (Some of the covers are pretty much like the other ones.)
I've been making zines for two years now. I think. I don't keep track of time very well.
I had a dream the other night in which Matthew Gray-Gubler was wearing a black bowler hat, a black coat with a scarf wrapped around his neck. In my dream his name was Chris for some reason, and he was carrying a green apple that he kept placing on top of his hat.
1. I have short tendons in my arms & hands, & can't straighten them out.
2. I really hate washing dishes.
3. I’m really OCD about what can/can't touch my hands.
4. I can recite the alphabet backwards.
5. I am afraid of horses.
6. I am afraid of big dogs.
7. I have no desire to swim in the ocean.
8. I hate sour things.
9. I was almost named Nichole.
10. More foreigners than Americans have asked me out on dates.
11. I really hate Republicans.
12. I collect bookmarks.
13. I really, truly, honestly hate bugs.
14. I want a pet Chihuahua.
15. Once a year I eat a hamburger, remember how gross it is, & then don’t eat one again for another year.
16. I thought by this age, I’d be married and have five kids. I'm still keen on the married bit, but five kids is WAY too many.
17. I love shopping online.
18. I don’t like Christmas shopping or Christmas decorations. I especially don't like Christmas Music
19. I can't fall asleep if my toes are cold.
20. I’ve had lots of crushes in my life, but two of them have stuck over time: DPR and DLM. If either of them decided that they were truly in love with me, they'd get a second chance.
21. Last time I got my heart broken I cried for three days.
22. I don’t let myself cry because no one ever comes to the aid of the “big” girl. Ever.
23. It is more likely that an alien will come down and steal my brain then a man will ever carry me through a puddle.
24. I hate being this tall. In my mind I'm a petite Chinese girl with hair so black it's almost blue.
25. Mint should only be used for things like toothpaste.
26. I can bake, but I can’t cook.
27. I don’t want to learn to cook.
28. I was a vegetarian for 1-½ years. I’m still REALLY picky about meat and don’t eat it often…however I can’t say I’m a vegetarian.
29. I believe that love is the simple day-to-day stuff that you handle together.
30. I believe trees have spirits & are here to remind us to slow down.
31. I don’t really like to drive.
32. Sometimes I think farts are funny.
33. The only sport I really like to play is baseball.
34. I love my skateboard but I’m REALLY scared to go fast.
35. I have been struggling with depression since I was a teenager.
36. I don’t like most girls. If you’re a girl and you’re my friend, you should know you have something special about you.
37. I don’t like pizza sauce.
38. I love teaching.
39. I love word puzzles.
40. I’m afraid of heights.
41. My favorite food is breakfast cereal.
42. I’d like dressing up more if girl clothes came in my size.
43. I never make my bed until it’s so beyond hope that I absolutely have to make it.
44. I like monkeys and would like to spend some time being one.
45. If I had money I’d spend two or three years in Borneo helping the orangutans.
46. There is nothing more I want out of life than to be someone’s love.
47. I REALLY like spicy food.
48. I like to observe people.
49. I hate talking on the phone (to order pizza... whatever) but I do like talking to friends.
50. I LOVE getting things in the mail.
51. I am mildly dyslexic.
52. I hate loud noises. (Or repetitive noises…my brain starts to scream at those kinds of things, that’s why I don’t like “noise” music.)
53. I hate being alone during a thunderstorm.
54. I cannot wear flip-flops or things that separate my toes…it makes my brain scream.
55. Sometimes my brain screams.
56. I have a fear of abandonment. (“He who is without sin may cast the first stone” here, eh!)
57. I think fish are the world’s most boring pets.
58. I think mayonnaise is gross. So is ketchup.
59. I can’t sleep unless the room is pitch black. I even put all my electronics on power strips and turn them off so the little red lights don’t keep me awake.
60. I like things that challenge my brain.
61. I want to live in a big city above a bookstore and never have to own a car again.
62. I think I could sing pretty well if I gave myself half a chance.
63. One of the best things in the whole world is sleeping in clean sheets just off the line.
64. I hate seafood.
65. I have plantar fasciitis.
66. My writing bump is on my ring finger.
67. I don’t like to visit Dad’s grave. I’d rather talk to him when I am surrounded by trees or see a pretty little bird.
68. When Mom dies, I want to be close behind her.
69. I’m still waiting for someone to rescue me.
70. People falling down on “America’s Funniest Videos” crack me up!
71. I am very claustrophobic.
72. In my opinion the worst way to die is drowning.
73. I slept one night on the streets in London.
74. I hate camping, but I’d go with a guy if he invited me.
75. I can talk to anyone.
76. I’m very choosy about who gets to be close enough to me to be called friends.
77. I’d rather make friends with boys than girls because girls have always been very mean to me.
78. I like to stay up late and sleep in late, but life rarely lets me do that.
79. I get my best ideas as I’m falling asleep—so I’ll get up and write them, do them, or write myself a note to do it!
80. I love my dreams. They’re INSANE.
81. Sometimes I think I’m insane.
82. I love thrift store shopping.
83. I wish my boobs were one cup size smaller so my t-shirts would look smoother!
84. The thing I find most attractive in a man is his kindness.
85. I can’t go to sleep until after I’ve brushed and flossed. If I try to go to sleep first, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night to do it!
86. I’ve had two really weird, unexplained illnesses. 1) I got really dizzy and puked a bunch of times and had to get a shot in my butt, however, they never knew what was wrong with me and 2) I went to sleep on Saturday night and woke up Monday morning. I didn’t get up to pee, or eat or anything. Mom said I had a really high fever, but I don’t remember any of it.
87. I wanted to go to Russia on my mission. Not France.
88. The entire purpose of my mission (in my opinion) was that I was supposed to reconnect with Daniel R.
89. I bring snacks to church.
90. I love reading/watching Sci-Fi and Fantasy.
91. I hate romance type stories unless Jane Austen writes them.
92. I can’t hear very well in my left ear.
93. I think Goran Visnjic is the epitome of handsome.
94. I am allergic to walnuts and raw onions. (And I can’t wear metal jewelry unless it’s real like gold or silver.)
95. I don’t want a wedding ring.
96. I really love chocolate chip cookies.
97. I hate it when someone talks to me when I first wake up. I like to be awake for about ten/fifteen minutes before someone talks to me.
98. I don’t concentrate well…on anything.
99. I like cloudy/rainy days better than sunshine days.
100. I love walking in rain.
101. I often contradict myself.
This is the cover of my newest zine. It's a comic called "Punkman" and tells the story of Punkman and the Rodent Rioter's first adventure. They fight the evil CEO man as they dumpster dive behind the ValuMart.
99% Truth, 1% Polysorbate-80
by Maaike Davidson
“Have you met the man of your dreams, yet?” He asked.
HE asked.
Stupid-ass man. He was the man of my dreams.
WAS.
“I just keep thinking about what might have been.” He said.
About her.
Stupid-ass man. He always forgets that I’m hoping for the present.
HOPING.
Neither one of them are right.
For me.
Stupid-ass man that I’m looking for has blue eyes.
BLUE.
“How do you know that?” You ask.
YOU ask.
Stupid-ass question. I know because of Poly.
POLYSORBATE-80.
Hello! Wanna buy a sock monkey? I made these guys when I was home visiting my Mom. I have a ton of socks to make into more monkeys so more will be coming. They are $20.00 each and are sewn by hand. I have pictures of them individually so if there's one you want to see, send me an email and I'll send you a close up.
My front door is under a pine tree that drops needles like crazy! They're everywhere, in my car, in my shoes, and all over the floor of my apartment. To try to cut down on the invasion into my apartment, I wanted to buy a welcome mat. This caused a dilemma. I am not entirely convinced that a Welcome right at the door will keep out the vampires.
Finally! It's done! This semester was a long one and it almost wore me out. Only one really bad nervous-type breakdown and a few weeks of depression, but it's done. I now have a Masters of Fine Arts in Dramatic Writing from the Department of Theatre and Film at the University of Idaho! It's done!
A red house finch sat in a small tree and sang out. 
Four shows to find props for. My own show in rehearsals. Work at the language lab. Peer Mentor for Sally's class. Teach Comm 101: Intro to speech. Taking thirteen credits--keep up with all the homework, the writing, the reading. Trying to earn my MFA in May. Coordinating a series of focus groups for the College of Letters Arts & Social Sciences. Teach Sunday School in church. Bake a pie and barter for a guitar amp. Be cheerful. Conquer personal demons. Try to eat healthy food. Keep track of my Mommy. Papers due. Now it's snowing.
Hello Blog Readers: | Maaike took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Over-imaginative and given to fantasy or day-dream..."
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Yep. That's what I said. I was talking to myself and I said, "My heart smells like bacon." I said it wrong of course. I don't know if when one is talking to ones self that one can make incorrect word choices. Maybe I'm just crazier than I thought.
Lately I have been so busy that I haven't had two minutes to myself. Sure, I make it home and have an hour or so, but usually in that hour I am doing dishes, responding to a myriad of emails (regarding props for all four shows or the focus groups I'm involved with among many other things), trying to clean my house, and find healthy things to eat.
With the inevitable arrival of Valentine's Day and the subsequent distress it always brings; I decided to take a really close look at my "romantic life" as it was/is/WTF. I added it up today. Didn't take too long but I did it carefully because I wanted an accurate count. Here's the details:
