Saturday, October 18, 2008

It's Not A Tumor!!

There is no way to explain how my brain screams. I'd like to explain what my brain does, but as I am the only one inside my head and I don't know what a real brain does. I only know my brain. Lately my brain has been screaming. I can't make it stop. I can't turn it off. The only way to get it to be quiet is to sleep.

I want to cry out for help, but I don't know who to turn to. People get tired of helping someone with a mental problem. They'd rather I just "get better." But, I can't. Think of it as a brain tumor. A problem in my brain that I can't fix. People don't expect someone to fix a tumor, but they do expect a depressed person to "fix" themselves. People want me to be "fixed." But I can do nothing about my situation any more than someone with a tumor can.

Please, I beg of all of you, try to understand. I don't do any of this to try to get sympathy. I don't do this to get attention. If I could change it, if I could have a NORMAL brain I would do it in a moment. If I could get my brain to stop screaming...if I could just be normal I would. I can't change it though. What I need is someone to understand that I have a disease. I can not fix myself. I don't want sympathy. I do need help.

4 comments:

Amy said...

I understand

Brian Davidson said...

Who needs a normal brain? All I can think of is this:

Ren Hoek: "Must . . . save . . . the brain!"

Homer Simpson's Brain (to Homer): "Ooooh, you may have to stay, but I'm leaving." His brain leaves. Homer collapses.

Dunno what to tell ya, sis. I'm here when you need me. And even when you don't.

Pickle'sMom said...

I'm sorry that you are having a tough time right now. I love you.

sally said...

Sweetie, it's hard to live with the screaming in your head. Trust me, I know.

But you don't have to go it alone. Please get counseling. Please? It's confidential, it's effective and while you're a student, it's free. You promised me ages ago you would. Please do it.