Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Everyone Has Advice. No One Has Time.

Hello Blog Readers:

If you know someone who suffers from any form of depression I'd like to offer some advice in dealing with them.

Yes, advice. Probably the last thing someone with depression wants. Most of the time, we've heard it ALL before. Don't tell us what makes you "happy" because we're not unhappy. Don't tell us what you like to do to "perk yourself up" we don't need perking up. Do not offer advice.

Please, please give us your time. If the person you are trying to help has not seen a doctor for his/her depression take the time to GO WITH THEM. Help them. It's hard to get yourself up from your depression enough to talk to a doctor. Hold our hands and get us there. If they are on medication talk with them to make sure they're on a good dosage. If you notice that they are still struggling offer to go with them again. If they're doing okay but have moments (or days) of depression, talk with them. Listen to them. It's okay that you don't know the answers. It's OKAY. Just listen and then ask if there is something you can do.

For me, I need an arm around my shoulder or a good strong hug. A physical touch to let me know that I am beautiful enough for physical touch. Listen to your friends who have depression ask them for specific things that you can do to help them.

Then do it.

Give them your time.

You could be exactly what they need.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maaike,
Ar you suffereing from depression? That's awful! Maybe you should take a hot bath. That always makes me feel better.

TV Digital said...

Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the TV Digital, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://tv-digital-brasil.blogspot.com. A hug.

martin said...

Hi Maaike,
Not surprised "anonymous" wants to be anonymous. Perhaps a hot bath face-down would make him feel a little less satisfied, and a lot more depressed. Sometimes people who are depressed just need to be left alone, but just know someone is there, or visits regular to drink your coffee, eat your cookies, and listen to your music. Pestering warmth, can sometimes be as annoying as pestering advice. "Sticking around" is often just as good. It sort of says - "OK - you're nuts, but that's OK, who isn't?"
Hope that came out right. I get bad mood swings too, so if it DID come out wrong, it was unintentional.
Meanwhile, let's hunt down the anonymous guy, and show him what a hot drowning is really like! :)

Take care.

martin said...

Correction - we can add TV Digital to the kill-list as well! It's always cheering to know that even if you feel your whacky, the world is full of sicko's who make you feel a really decent person.

So - sicko's - sod off and play with your toy guns, and weird videos. You don't need to worry about depression. You need a brain to get depressed.

Sorry Maaike. Didn't want to have an argument on your blog. But also didn't want these to be the only comments that you read

Martin

Pickle'sMom said...

I knew that you would think that was me...but only if I was being a butthead.
You know that I understand some of the junk you go through, and some of it, I don't. Same goes for you and my junk. I'm not going to give you advice, mostly because I don't have any. You can bet that if I did, I would SOOO be bossing you around and telling you what to do.
You know what, though? I love you. You are one of the best friends that I have ever had. I know that we are going through a "bleh" patch right now, but it will get better. I am trying to make me better so that I can be a better friend to you.
Now. Go take that bath. In the bathtub you don't have. And don't forget a glass of wine and some country music. That always makes me feel better. Lava you.