Ed’s New Haircut

I’m a killer. I’ve killed before. I can’t say that I enjoy it…and the last four years have gone by without incident. But the plant that was residing happily inside of my Ed-the-Head pot is dead. I killed it. I think I over watered it. But it is dead.

Kylie gave me the plant on one of my birthdays. (I love my birthday! A week from today is my half-year birthday!) She called it my “good luck” plant because I’d need luck to keep it alive. It lived a good life. It was beautiful. And now it’s dead.

Well, since Ed-the-Head is often in charge of the apartment when I’m gone, I had to find a new plant for it. I went to the store. And wandered. Not so much an indoor plant selection as they’re making way for the gardeners and lawn-fixer-uppers. I was at a loss. I stepped out into the parking lot where fewer people could hear my stupid question. I dialed the phone and called my Mom.

“Mom, I know I’ve asked you this every summer, but does annual mean it comes up every year or that I have to plant it every year?”

With that question out of the way, and Mom giggling in my ear, I wandered into the plants. The walls were lined with choices. Some I knew. Most I did not. There was one I wanted to look at, but couldn’t go anywhere near it because there was a spider perched too near. Curse you, spider!

“Mom, there’s a spider in here.”

“It won’t hurt you.”

Silly Mom. She knows that spiders are out to get me.

“Mom what does it mean when it says ‘sun perennial’?”

“That means it needs a lot of sunshine. You want a shade one.”

Searching some more, avoiding the looks of those who despise us uninformed plant buyers and annoying cell-phone talkers…and of course the spiders and various random bugs that had taken up homes in their favorite plants. I picked up something that looked dainty and pretty.

“I found something called ‘Lamium.’ It looks like it has little purple flowers.”

“Well, since I can’t see it, it sounds good to me.”

Thanking my Mom for her patience and advice I proceeded to the cashier. I went home proudly with my new plant. Hooray! Ed-the-Head will be naked no more!

Then Daniel, (“Outstanding Junior” for his department in Horticulture) comes over, takes a look at my plant and says, “They use this mostly for ground cover.”

Well, I guess that means that Ed is destined to have a buzz cut … until I kill again!