Did you sleep well? …No, I made some mistakes.

You have read about my dreams before. People often ask me what I eat before I go to sleep to make myself dream such crazy-vivid stuff. Well, nothing. I don’t eat before I go to bed because I read that it’s really hard on your heart to sleep with food in your stomach. I usually go to bed a little hungry. Maybe that’s the problem.

The other night I was sleeping…dreaming that the Apocalypse has started and I was running for my life. (Good thing I’ve been practicing in REAL life!) Anyway, I started really running and smacked my elbow on the table next to my bed. It woke me right up because it HURT like a mean-girl’s comment! I had a bruise and a big red mark on my poor elbow. Not only did it wake me up, but it also kept me up for a while as I debated moving the table far away.

Yesterday I was making my bed, (not a daily occurrence I’ll have you know—I learned it from my Daddy who always said, “Why make your bed when you know you’re going to be all lekker-a comfortable in it the next night?” (lekker is Dutch for nice)) because…ok, I have three blankets on my bed, and the top two were right as rain, but the bottom one was completely sideways. I don’t know how I accomplished that one, but I most certainly did.

I’ve always been a crazy sleeper. When we’d sleep out in the backyard no one wanted to sleep next to me because despite the fact that we’d all start out in a straight line, by the morning I would be sideways or upside down from everyone else. Or, I’d be gone because I’d have left in the middle of the night to go sleep in my actual bed because the earth was sucking every bit of warmth from me…or the dew was on me…or a spider was watching me…or just because it was a stupid-ass idea to sleep in the backyard in the first place.

Once I went to bed with pajamas on only to find them clear across the room the next morning. I sleep all night long holding on to Eddie-Phil (my teddy bear with multiple personality disorder) so I’m confused as to how I can keep a hold of Eddie-Phil while strewing around my pillows and blankets and pajamas for that matter.

And, here is the final question for you all:

Am I the only one who has to straighten my mattress after a good night’s sleep?