Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Dear Katie--undated letter, but Spring of 2005

Dear Katie,

Hello! How are you? I hope that things are GREAT and that Boise is being good to you, or I’ll tell its Mom.

Speaking of Mom, I went home for Spring Break and stayed with my Mommy. It was really fun. We did our traditional shopping at all the thrift stores in Idaho Falls (and the Deseret industries in Rexburg, too). And...oh boy...I found the best shoes! In fact, this was definitely the Shoe Vacation. I found a pair of brown leather dress shoes at the Salvation Army for $1.95. They’re FABULOUS. Believe me, they’ve been the envy of a couple of different friends. Then, at the DI in IF I found a pair of burgundy patent leather penny loafers with a two inch heels. They’re pretty much new and Amy already claimed dibs on them if I get tired. THEN I found a pair of brown leather shoes at the DI in Rexburg (AKA Iceberg or Kolob). They’ve got a heel on them (not that I need the height, but they are, as the others, totally fabu!). I rounded out my vacation by finding a pair of slip on tennis shoes to replace the “cheese shoes” that could almost walk on their own. AND...this is the most unbelievable part of it all: last year I found a pair of extremely comfortable shoes at the Salvation Army in Lewiston. They finally bit the dust and I had to throw them away. There was seriously no wear left in the shoes. BUT while I was at Payless in IF I found THE EXACT PAIR OF SHOES ONLY NEW!! So I had to buy them. They were only $12.99...which was $12.40 more than I paid the first time I bough the shoes, but, they were so very worth it. So t, that means five pairs of new shoes in a week for under $30.00. I’m so excited.

Men won’t get it. Don’t even try to explain it to them.

You know, I was thinking about past Spring Breaks. The first one here I spent with Christina and Mandy stuck in Moscow because of a freak snow storm. We ended up spending the most fun day in Colfax (of all places) trying to find the store with the deer butt mounted on the wall. The next Spring Break doesn’t stand out to me at all. I don’t remember a dang thing about it. Last year I went to England. This year I got shoes. The whirlwind that is my life just doesn’t end.

When I was in England one of the funniest things happened: the guest room I Daniel’s house was right next to the bathroom. I was sleeping soundly under a yellow-gingham duvet when I heard Daniel yelling down the hallway, Darren! Darren!”

“What”“ came the sleepy reply.

“We’re out of toilet roll.”

“What?” said Darren.

“We’re out of toilet roll!” Daniel shouted a second time.

It was at this point that I realized that the spare rolls were in the close in my room. I got out of bed, opened the cupboard, grabbed a roll of toilet paper and opened the door. There was my sweet Daniel sitting on the throne. Without a word, I presented the toilet paper. He laughed. I closed the door and crawled back into bed. After a couple of minutes my door opened. It was Daniel. He was still laughing.

“Not a very dignified position to be caught in.” he said.

“Remember, I grew up in a house with one toilet and ten people. I’m still most comfortable with the bathroom door wide open no matter the situation.” I assured him.

He leaned down t o give me a cuddle. “You’re so warm,” he said. Then he laid down on me...and ran his hands up and down my face–they were still wet from washing them.

“Hey!” I giggled

He stayed by me for about five minutes then said, “Well, I’d better get ready for work.”

That whole week I never bothered with the time change. I’d sleep until he got back from work, then hang out all evening with him. Then I’d stay up int e night either reading, or using his computer to talk to my friends back home. It was the best Spring Break I’d ever had. I love Daniel. He’s a random hugger...and once he hugs he doesn’t let go for a long while. It’s so comforting. He’s so wonderful to me. I think everyone should have a friend like Daniel. But everyone can’t have Daniel, he’s mine. I’m jealous enough as is!!

I kept calling Daniel “Squishy” because of “Finding Nemo” you know, then Dori finds the baby jellyfish and says, “I will call you Squishy and you will be mine. You will be my Squishy.” After a couple of days Daniel asked me if I’d been calling him that because he’d put on weight. HEEHEEHEE! I told him about the movie and just that I was unwilling to share him with anyone, thus, he was MY Squishy.

Jade had a boy stalking her and she told him that she wasn’t interested in dating him. I felt really sad, not because of the boy but because I’ve been there SO MANY TIMES! So, although the scriptures tell me not to give up Hope, I think I have to give up hope (lower case h...I’ll keep the upper case Hope, but say goodbye to hope). SO...my solutions is to drown myself in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel” so that I can be in love with Angel the Vampire and live inside my head where it’s safe. I’ll sill peek out and socialize–I can’t help it! I love people!–but I’ll give up worrying about being someone else’s Squishy. Daniel said I could marry Angel if I wanted...and Daddy forbade me to marry a “stupid Yankee and Angel was born in Ireland (250 years ago). So, I think that’s all the permission I need.

When Daddy told me not to marry a stupid Yankee I had fun explaining to him that Yankee was actually a term for the Dutch settlers. Heeheehee! But, Daddy didn’t like any of his sons-in law (despite the fact that with just three sisters there have been seven sons-in-law) so it’s up to me to find the one that daddy would like. I think a vampire with a soul who has a steady job and isn’t a “stupid Yankee” might fit the bill. Besides, Mom is still holding up the promise Daddy made of giving $20.00 to the man that marries me. And since I like tall, dark, handsome (with some meat on the bones, Please!) Angel has the look too. Now, he just has to be kind. And dump Buffy. And get rod of the gypsy curse. And fall I love with me. Then collect his $2000. Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy! Life is Cake when I live inside my head.

Ok, so my sisters Sherri and Chris work and Taco John’s in IF. They have a new menu item called Chicken Crispies which are basically McNuggets. BUT the boss didn’t want them associated with Nuggets so he told the crew that they were NOT nuggets. Sherri was running the cash register when a couple in their late thirties walked up.

“What are Chicken Crispies?” the man asked.

Remembering not to call them nuggets, Sherri said, “They’re deep friend chicken balls.”

“Oh, I didn’t know chickens had balls,” said the man.

The laughter that ensued has yet to ebb.

I’ve been reading a book called “Towing Jehovah” by James Morrow. It’s been rather interesting. The other day I read this sentence in it: “A person should be valued for what he gave, [...] not for what he possessed.” That’s so true! Soon after reading that I heard in a song by Vertical Horizon: “Everything you wanted me to hide is everything that makes me feel alive. Everything you wanted from me is everything that I could never be.” Now, this is kind of weird, but that’s why I’m not interested in being thin. When I was thin I had guys asking me out a lot (I was told by a couple of people that I should be a model–I think it’s the Dutch half of me). Guys I didn’t know would ask me for my number. I’d always tell them no. I don’t want o be asked out on dates or be admired for what I look like. I want to be admired for WHAT I AM INSIDE! I know it’s really dumb, but I’d be happy to be thin for a man that already loves me, than to be thin so men will love me because they like the way I look. I have been trying to lose some weight. But I’ll tell you this, if guys who ignored me while I was chubby start talking to me when I’m thin, they’ll find out that they can’t have NOW what they didn’t want THEN.

Well, I guess that’s it for today. Oh, except that Mandy’ Martineaus’ mom is reading a book that’s called with a”A Worm’s Journal” or “A Worm’s Diary” something like that and she shared a great entry: “My sister kept staring into the mirror, so finally I told her, ‘No matter how long you stare, your head still looks like your butt’.”

I hope you have a GREAT day!

Love ya!

P.S. A story of irony: As you are aware, my life is filled with irony. I have no control over things that happen to me. No control at all. So, here’s what happened yesterday:

One of the pairs of fabu shoes (the ones from the Rexburg DI) while fitting gorgeously while sitting or standing proved to be of the Chinese foot-binding variety in real life. By the time I walked from my apartment to the third floor of the Admin building I had a lovely blister of the back of each foot. I wandered around all day without my shoes on. Then, when faced with the daunting task of walking home I wondered what to do. Would Jade be home to come pick me up? Christina gets off of work at 5:00 I could wait around until she could come get me? Would Ben come? What about John? Nah...I decided to just walk home. I put the pair of shoes in an empty box that Sherril had given to me (only after making the promise that I won’t move home for good) then walked home in my socks. There was the occasional rock or twig that caused a twinge in my foot, but what can you do, eh? As I continued walking my feet were yelling more ane more. The smooth sidewalks were quite cold and the rough roads were...well, rough. I finally broke down and said a little prayer asking for someone to come give me a ride.

Not too long after that I saw a white car and thought, “Yea! It’s Jade!” But then the girl started smoking and I thought, “Not Jade.” So I said another prayer. This time I said I didn’t care who it was that gave m me a ride, I’d even take a ride form a total stranger. I walked a few more steps with my shoes in my box and my bag a little heavier than it should have been when a green jeep–thing pulled over. Ah! Relief at last! And who is my blessed knight-in-shining armor? None other than Dorothy Jennings.

Now, just in case you’ve forgotten, Dorothy and I haven’t talked to each other since my first Christmas up here when I told her that she should be thankful to spend time with her Dad because mine was gone and we had a big blow-out over that. We’ve hardly said “boo” to each other since.

Anyway, I get into her car and she asks about my not wearing shoes. I ask her what size shoes she wears and then gave her the fabulous shoes that were the cause of all my pain. She gave me a ride home and I said, “thanks, Dorothy. You were the answer to a prayer today.”

Then, I got into my house and told Jade and Tennille about how God not only works in mysterious ways, but totally IRONIC ones, too.

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