Envelope Eleven Taped to a Box

Today in the mail I got a box! Taped to the front of it was Envelope Eleven from David A. in France. (That gives me a 61% return rate!--and yes, I know it's a skewed statistic, but I failed statistics or didn't take it or something like that.)

He made me miss France, though. And he did look for Pschitt but couldn't find it. I think it's a south of France thing.

Anyway, he also included Birthday Wishes which were my first official birthday wishes of this current birthday season. (Yes, birthday season).

And of course speaking of my birthday I thought I'd include here a little conversation I had over email (remember, these were sent one at a time over email--because I'm weird and so is Eric apparently):

Maaike: It's November, everyone! The countdown to my birthday has begun in double-time now! I still don't have a boyfriend, which is what I really wanted for my birthday, someone to spoil me, you know. Nevertheless (I love the opportunity to type that word) my birthday is COMING SOON!! November 9th is just 8 days away! Hooray! It's November!!

Eric: Just so I understand what I'm reading...this is a shameless plug for presents...right?

Maaike: Actually, it was a search for "who's going to fill the boyfriend slot before it's too late." But presents are good.

Eric: If I need to have a girlfriend before my birthday in December, I am going to be in big trouble.

Maaike: Focus, Eric. We're talking about me here.

Eric: Right... right. Sorry I got off track. I better find you a nice present to make up for my slip.

Yep. That's right. My birthday in 8 more days. There's still a chance I'll meet someone. But I'm not holding my breath!

Thanks for the box, David! And by the way, Mom says "Hi."

Envelope Nine! 50%!

Idaho's Green Party in Envelope Eight!

Envelope Eight arrived today! Only thing in my box this morning so it was like god rays shining down through the clouds. You could almost hear a choir of angels singing the "glory" note. I don't know what that note is. I'm sure I could search it out on my piano...but I don't really care that much!

This envelope is from Daniel M. I LOVE how the envelopes are little glimpses into the lives of my friends! It's perfect, actually. It's a look at the things that this person thinks about. He gave me information about Idaho's Green Party, a pin for his Zine The Juniper, some other zine stuff, and some GREAT stickers!

My favorite thing, though, was this cartoon of a woman helping a man with a cowlick in his hair by leaning over and licking it down. Now THAT'S funny! (I also loved the Bobblehead page with the "hip shaker" in it!)

Thanks, Mouse! You did a GREAT job!

8 of 18...that's a 44.4 (infinity) %. A very good number for my friend Daniel, but not a high percentage as far as returns go. Still, hella fun, though. You should try it with some friends! If you don't have any...send one to me!

Envelope Update

I sent an envelope to David A. in France so the total is up to 18. I've had 7 returned to me. Here's who's still out: David A. (in France), David D. (Holland), Daniel M., Daniel R. (England), Eric, Amy, Jana, Erin, Monika (Spain), Will, and Mandy. Some I don't think will ever respond. Some might later when they're not busy. But no matter when they reply you can rest assured that you'll find out here!

More news at 11:00!

Envelopes from the Royal Court of Lady 8891…

I wasn’t going to write about receiving a second envelope from someone…but I just have to. Kylie and Sally have both filled a second envelope and sent it on to me. I love these women! They so totally kick ass!

Also, my friend David A., a loyal blog reader, has asked where HIS envelope is. So, I’m sending out one to him. That will bring the total to 18 envelopes. That means as far as returns go I’m not even at the 50% mark. BUT as far as the contents of the envelopes go…I’m QUEEN OF THE POST OFFICE! Or, as one of the postal workers calls me, “Lady 8891.”

I must admit, saving little things here and there, thinking of putting them into an envelope, and sending them to one of my friends fills me with a childlike glee.

Glee. Yes. Glee. I’m as giddy as me!

Envelope Seven!

Today I got envelope number 7 of 17. From Katie Whittier. She said her creativity had worn out, but she lies because the envelope was just as creative as anyone else's!

It's greatly interesting to see how much the contents of the envelopes reflect the personality of those who are filling them.

I was telling Kylie and Sally that I was trying to remember who all I sent them to but I can't really remember. There are some I remember, of course, because I am either eagerly awaiting the return of their envelope or else they have said to me "I'm working on filling that envelope". But there are still three I can not remember...it'll be a surprise to me if I get them back!

I Think I’d Rather Be Boiled Alive in a Vat of Wildebeest Urine.

Strange title you might think. You’d be right. Sort of.

Envelope 6 of 17 has arrived today from my friend Christina (Bobina-Yolanda-Hoop). It is brilliant! I have to admit that thinking of a title for this entry was rather difficult. She sent so many beautiful quotes (like the one in the title from Chef)! Here’s a sample:

But that was during the war when sushi was called “liberty lox”. Grandpa Simpson

Didn’t Jesus also say “Blessed are those who pull themselves up they their own bootstraps”? Stephen Colbert

If you really love him, you’ll rip his heart out in person. Drew Carey

You are not in charge of how big a wuss I am! Malcolm in the Middle

There are many, many more, but that’s a beautiful sample.

My favorite quote, however, is a Christina original. It was written on an origami figure she made for me: Supposed to be a monkey, looks like a sloth.

Thank you, Christina! You have made a very exciting envelope for me! I do have to ask, however, what was the option to being “boiled alive in a vat of wildebeest urine”?

Happy Birthday from Jen!

Envelope five of seventeen has arrived! It is from Jen Urena. She said that she wasn’t creative enough to fill an entire envelope so she sent me a birthday card and some cow stickers. Cow stickers! If that’s not creative I don’t know what is!

Thanks, Jen!

BTW: Dr. Pepper is the best, Jen. I understand your giving into the taste sensation!

An Enigma Wrapped in a Mystery Mailed in an Envelope!

Today I got envelope number four (of what is now seventeen)! This particular one didn’t have a return address so I’m going to attribute the envelope and all of its wonderful contents to Dave. There are a few hints inside of it that even the lowliest of CSI enthusiast would have to agree just lead to Dave. Or if not Dave himself then at least to the Eames-Harlan household.

I LOVE the little key chain dog whose motto is: Happiness is lying on the couch!

There was an item that caused somewhat of a ruckus. Inside the envelope was a gold scrap of paper that caused me to spend most of the morning singing, “I’ve got a golden ticket!” much to Kylie’s chagrin. (Poor girl puts up with so much!)

Thanks Dave! (Or whoever you are!)

Ballerina Cow From the Secretary of Cookies

Got my third envelope today! It’s from Ginger! She sent me the world’s most graceful ballerina cow. And a bookmark! Did she know I collect bookmarks or is she just a good guesser?

So far that’s 3 out of 16! Cool. The women in Moscow are totally kicking everyone else’s butts! Of course, women in Moscow are just a slight bit cooler than everyone else anyway!

I wonder who will be the first GUY to respond? I vote Eric as he has already told me that he’s working on it.

Now I Don’t Have to Corral My Bazongas Into a Stupid Orange Haltertop!

This is a direct quote from Kylie—and a prefect way to introduce the second envelope that I have received from the sixteen I sent out!

In Kylie’s envelope there were a lot of cute little things and also a lot of esoteric stuff that would make her and me laugh like hyenas but just confused the bejeezus out of the rest of you. Like her having included four orange strips of paper with the following words written on them: Orange, Corral, Haltertop, & Bazongas.

I have also decided that I need to send out one more envelope…to Sally’s husband, Dave. I didn’t realize that he would have had so much fun with it, but I was wrong. And also dead curious as to what he’d send back!

So, thanks, Kylie! I look forward to filling that envelope and sending it back to you!

Sally! Where Did You Get Jesus Tape?

On a recent whim I started reading different craft books and one of the books is 52 Projects: Random Acts of Everyday Creativity by Jeffrey Yamaguchi. It’s simply a book of suggestions…not so much patterns and recipes. Anyway, number 29 was to fill a regular sized envelope so full of different things (I like “random crap”) that you have to use tape to close it. I thought that was a pretty spiffy idea. So, I did it. I sent out sixteen envelopes with a self addressed envelope so they could do the same.

But this is the best part:

Today I got my first envelope back! It was from Sally. I just have to say before I even opened the envelope that the tape Sally used to close it featured different pictures of Jesus. Sally, oh dear Sally, where did you get the Jesus tape? I think I must have some! When I rode my bike home it felt like Christmas. I read my other boring mail first, saving the best for last, and when I opened the tape things just spilled out of the envelope! It’s beautiful! It was seriously the best thing ever! Sally knows the inner me so very well…she sent me a magnet that has a girl with curly hair sitting with a dog and the caption reads, “Life is tough. I recommend getting a manicure and a really cute helmet.” That is SO ME!

While I’m waiting for the other fifteen envelopes to come back to me (I’ll keep you posted as to the return ratio!) I’m going to fill the self-addressed envelope Sally sent to me. But first I’ve got to Google Jesus tape.