Aw CRAP! I have HOPE again!

Okay, so. I was happy. Completely without hope and figured that love is just a lie like Santa Claus, diet pop, and Republicans caring about the environment. It was a state of...well, a state of something. And I was enjoying it. Talking more and more to myself about giving up on love completely (and specifically) when POW! I got hit in the face with hope.

Here's what happened:

A couple of weeks ago on Criminal Minds, Penelope Garcia met a "hottie" who shot her at the end of the episode. Isn't that just like life, I thought, a chubby girl meets a hottie who asks her out on a date and just when you think it's all good, he shoots her through the heart. I was really angry about it. Ask my friend Daniel who got an earful of "why this was really stupid." Anyway, continuing. This week the show featured Nicholas Brendan as a tech-nerd who was asked to come in and help out. He fell in love with Garcia just from her computer skills. He was a classic nerd in all senses...and totally drew me in because, hang it all, I love nerds. I just do. Quand-meme, at the end of the show he meets Garcia and she says, "Do you believe everything happens for a reason?" And right then I said to my Mom (the poor woman had to watch the show with me telling her all about how mad I was and how cool it was that Nicholas Brendan was on the show) "I hope they bring him back because it'd be great to have a love interest for Garcia. She's one of my heroes."

Then SMACK right in my face I realized that I had hope again. Hope that things DO happen for a reason. Hope that the next one will be even more perfect for me than this one (although that'd be pretty damn miraculous in and of itself) because I'm blinded by the "hottie" who shot me in the heart that I'm not quite ready to see the beautiful nerd waiting around the corner.

Damn you, Criminal Minds! Why did you have to give me hope!

Why am I such a GIRL?

I just got home from watching the two-parter "Criminal Minds" over at Daniel M.'s house. It's the one that they aired just after the Superbowl (I only know who was in the game because I was waiting for "Criminal Minds" to come on). Anyway...I am so crushing over the character of Dr. Spencer Reid (played by the beautiful Matthew Gray Gubler) and wishing I were the one who got to have his mismatched socks lying on my floor.

Why don't I just grow up and stop having stupid crushes? When will I bloody grow up? I keep thinking how much I'd like to write a play about love...about someone falling in love...but I can't. Why? Because how can I write about falling in love with someone and having them love back when all I ever get is unrequited love and celebrity crushes?

I was trying to write down my most romantic moments (kind of a valentine thing I wanted to do in my zine) when I realized all the romantic moments I could think of were from Jane Austen! Okay, so there was the time I danced with Daniel R. on the beach. That was kind of spiffy...but it was AFTER I knew he wasn't in love with me. There was the time that Daniel M. got the grasshopper out of the spiderweb for me and I thought he was the most heroic character I'd ever met...but that was just before I found out he wasn't interested in me. Then there was the time I was stuck in my coat because the zipper was caught and Pablo helped me get out of it. But that was also AFTER I knew he wasn't interested, either. And on the grand scale of romance, grasshoppers and broken zippers do not rank high. Nor should they really.

I bloodly hate bloody valentine's bloody day!