Friday, September 25, 2009

In The Throes of Giving Up

Want to break free but don’t remember how—can’t remember the steps. Gave everything away last time and have no energy left to pour into a new friendship.

So tired. Don’t think anyone understands. SO tired.

Sitting here crying out for someone to talk with…but there isn’t anyone. Nobody strong enough I suppose. There are a few I could call on, but none really willing to listen. None willing to really listen…they all looked like strong enough hands in the beginning. Suppose I could find a professional to listen. But then what? What about the next time? Eighty bucks a shot for a listening ear? Isn’t that what we make friends for in the first place?

Can’t make new friends. Too tired. So many years of making new friends and so many years of watching them slowly walk away. Not their faults…life moves on for them. So jealous of that. Their lives move on.

So tired. I’m just so tired.

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