Where Is My Mind

(Image by Loretta Lux)

Sometimes we fight, my brain and I. Such a dichotomy between what I want to do versus what I am able to do because my mind won't let me go. Every detail of every day has a fight.

Does any one understand what it's like to have to fight your brain to get up out of bed? To have a desire to continue? To even want to face life?

This doesn't mean that there aren't things that bring me joy...it just means that I have to FIGHT my brain to do those things. Do you know what it's like to have to fight with yourself to do something you LIKE to do?

Everyday I have to fight a battle with my brain. Every morning I have to make myself get up and go. Every single day. No wonder I'm tired. No wonder I dream of finding a quietness that never ends. No wonder I don't care who comes or goes because no one really understands.

I am so tired of fighting this battle. Can't anyone step in and fight it for me?

Or at least with me?

Jesus the Mexican Boy Gave Me a Ride on the Back of His Bike

You never know when you might be someone's hero. You never know who might need you that day. You never know how many peoples' hearts cry out to be rescued--and you could be their savior.

Yesterday the sunshine warmed the blacktop into bubbling tar. My feet ached from the heat and I felt that it would be impossible for me to go on. My mind wandered in to realms of giving up, calling it quits, just lying down and letting nature do its worse.

My eyes closed and I longed for the comfort of the forever-rest. Suddenly a shadow came past my aching eyelids. I slowly opened my eyes. There was a boy with dark skin. He smiled and, pouring some water into his hand, offered me a drink. Then he picked me up and put me on the back of his bicycle.

Now I follow him wherever he goes.