Hi World…Meet Jack!

I was looking around my apartment thinking of my stuffed animals that surround me. Galloomph sits on a chair with his stuffed animal (who’s name I don’t know…Galoomph doesn’t talk). There’s Eddie-Phil (my teddy-bear with multiple personality disorder—who talks all the time) sitting on my bed.

There are my three art-piece women: Petey, Emily, and Natalie…(Full titles: Petey’s Body Issues, Emily Gets the Blues, and Natalie’s Weirder Qualities.) Persimmon, Jonty, Cheer Bear and a myriad of unnamed stuffed animals on my bookshelves. The string of dead things in the corner—“Unnamed Dead Things” –I think that title is going to come into play in my near future. Six unnamed monkeys…and Jaques-o-sock-o my French sock monkey.

My plant in the Alien head pot that sits on top of the fridge is named “Ed the Head.” He is often left in charge when I’m gone because he can see everything from up there. (I’m worried that the plant is on its last legs…if it dies, what will Kylie think of me!)

There’s my car named A.J. (short for “A.J. Crowley’s Burning Bentley”), my bike, Madeline, and we can’t forget my computer who’s named Chesterfield Snapdragon McFisticuffs.

And now, there’s Jack. My skateboard. His name is Jack because he has skeletons on his wheels. If you don’t get it…then you’ll have to just wonder. He has pink hardware, but he’s secure enough in his manhood to know that it doesn’t mean anything. He has Pig risers and ATM “Fast as Hell” bearings. He’s SWEET! Sure, he’s a hand-me-down from Mouse, but he’s sweet as hell. Actually, both Jack and Mouse are. (Sweet as hell, not hand-me-downs.)

So everyone, say hello to Jack! And when the other animals around me tell me their names, I’ll introduce to you them as well.

Goin' Goofy-Foot

So, I tried skateboarding for the first time in my life. Okay, that’s a lie. I’ve skateboarded before…sitting on the board and letting the slope and gravity propel me to the bottom of our neighbor's driveway. But this is the first time I’ve STOOD on a skateboard.

It was fun. And when I say it was fun…I’m also lying. It was a BLAST! I’ve been thinking about it this whole week…and definitely about how I think I've figured out that I can turn.

Last Saturday Daniel thought I should give skateboarding a try. I spent most of the time going in a straight line…but I think I can turn now. I discovered that I’m “goofy-foot”…that means although I’m right handed, I skate left-footed. (I bat left-handed, too. But I write and cut with scissors with my right. But I’m left-eyed and left-footed. Who knew?) Anyway, I had a FABULOUS time.

Skateboarders have their own lingo and I made up a word: grumblies. On this particular day it was where they’d used tar to fix the cracks in the asphalt, but I figure it works for anything that keeps me from rolling forward...like rocks or sticks or the cops.

As was bound to happen, I got stuck in the grumblies and I fell down. Just once. Kind of hurt my elbow, but I didn’t bonk my head, of which I was quite proud.

I’ve never been good at sports…always chosen last for the teams, you know how it goes….I’ve always enjoyed baseball, though. And swimming as long as no one cares if I'm tan or chubby. And now, I think I really like skateboarding. I’m hoping D will take me again soon…and this summer, I might have to get myself a board!

Thanks, D, for including me in your adventures. Thanks for not thinking I’m too much of a geek to hang out with. If only you knew the truth.