Inflitrating the Davidson Culture

To study a culture it is best to blend in. This way you can move about practically unnoticed to conduct your study. When studying the Davidson family here are some things to bring to the table:

Watch these movies:

“The Burbs” starring Tom Hanks

• • “Yo! Rumsfield!”
• • “About a 9 on the tension scale there, Rube.”
• • “You’ve had that in your trousers all day?!”

“The Fifth Element” starring Bruce Willis:

• • “She knows it’s a multipass!”
• • “Chicken, good!”
• • “Nice hat.” Corbin. “Ya like it!” Robber.
• • “Itsa itsa itsa…”

Also, “The Fiddler on the Roof” the original Star Wars Trilogy, Star Trek (old, new, and movies). For the next generation of Davidson’s, you’ll also want to include “Napoleon Dynamite” and “Nacho Libre”

Watch these TV shows:

“Are You Being Served?” It’s important to know what to do when “A glass of water for Mr. Granger!” is shouted from the living room. Also of note are the frequent mentions of Mrs. Slocombe’s pussy.

“Keeping up Appearances”

• • “Here I sit, completely surrounded by no beer!”

“All in the Family”

• • “But Edith, we ain’t the McNabbs!”
• • “I got some of the same blood in me as Katherine Hepburn!”

“M*A*S*H” (Oh so many from M*A*S*H—quoted more often in our household than any of the quotes that Shakespeare has made common in daily communication.)

• • “But to cut off a man’s legs and steal his drawers!”
• • “You tell ‘im, Ferret face!”
• • “Hey, up close you’re a guy.” Flagg. “Far away, too.” Klinger.
• • “I wouldn’t marry you for five dollars.”

Family Nicknames

• Sherri –Big Shorty
• Marina—Nunu, Murt
• Albert—Howie
• Jeff—
• Chris—Twid
• Maaike— Moat, Major Iceborg
• Brian—brain, Onslo
• Randy—Roy, Willard

These are just a few of the things you’ll need to know before entering the group. So far I have been most impressed by how Michelle infiltrated the group. Not always knowing the movie references she would randomly throw in some of her own. Confusing the Davidsons for a moment but they were quick to accept her as one of their own.

Please feel free to ask questions during your infiltration process. The Davidsons are quite open-minded to accepting new people and are fairly non-lethal unless provoked to stand up for one of their own.

Silent Monks Singing Halleluia

Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander

Sometimes my head gets too full of stuff. Sometimes I think the only way to get it out is to scream or cry or else I'll just go crazy because I can't get the stuff out of my head.

I wait to be rescued but no one comes. No one comes because they don't know I need to be rescued or they don't believe in rescuing the "big" girl. I search for outlets for my brain crowd but no one is available because of their own crowd.

Sometimes I want to scream until someone comes and locks me up. Feeds me jell-o. Gives me crayons and tells me to draw what's frightening me.

Sometimes I want to cry to see if someone, anyone, will come wrap his arms around me and tell me that he is there for me, no matter what.

If I told you I was in pain, would you come to me? Would you have time for me? Sometimes I'd like to find out just who would come to my rescue. But most of the time I just go to sleep...everything will be better in the morning.

Love & Mathematics

Last night I had two dreams. In the first one I was loved by a king. The king was kind and good to his people and everyone loved him and all the girls wanted to be with him, but he loved me, and was in love with me, and liked everything about me.

In my second dream I was loved by a criminal. Everyone despised him and thought he should be behind bars. But he loved me, and was in love with me, and liked everything about me.

While the King and the Criminal were wildly different in nature the love I felt from both of them was exactly the same. The king loved me. The criminal loved me. I was safe inside of both of their arms and felt their love for me and didn’t doubt it.

Granted…it may have helped that both the King and the Criminal were played by Henry Ian Cusick.

Something to be Scared of...

Life: I want to live you.

I’ve never been very good at slant rhyme and that seems to be the secret to writing song lyrics. As I listen to songs I can hear them but when I sit here and try to make them up myself I cannot hear it and I cannot create it. I wish I could create.

Life: You scare me.

It’s like singing anyway…my voice is in the alto range but I can’t just hear it unless someone else is also singing alto and sitting near enough to me for me to follow their lead. I cannot sing unless someone shows me the way. I wish I could lead.

Life: Are you my friend?

These small things in life—hearing a note, finding a rhyme—mean nothing to so many people. Why do I worry about them? For the same reason I worry about so many other little things: No one to help with the big things.

(Scared Teddy by droool)

Join me in welcoming the girls!!

Running on the wheel are Melora and Zoe. They are the dwarf hamsters I just got. Now, behind them you can seen one glowing eye of Queen Schmooquan as she watches them run in their wheel. When I first brought them home she watched the for an hour and a half. I'd never seen her concentrate on anything for that long. It was a riot!

Now the girls are up on a high shelf where the kitty can only watch them from afar. They wake up at night so kitty is quite entertained.

However, the wheel was very squeaky and was keeping me awake, so I fixed it with some WD40. No more squeak.

We four girls are all very happy together.

WWII in a nutshell...